Nothing.

*crickets*

I have absolutely nothing to say. Nothing exciting happened in my life this week. That sucks.

I did watch The Notebook today and while my girlie friends told me it was good, they didn't tell me that I would be reduced to tears, sobbing, literally sobbing at the end.

I did decide against getting a spray tan, in preparation for the Florida trip next week. I'd rather be ghost-like than orange like. And Jonas kinda laughed at me when I mentioned I might go get sprayed.

I did found my favourite lipstick in the pocket of pants I never wear....yaaaaaay

I did find a super awesome new cleaning lady who makes feel ashamed because she has 3kids under 6, goes to school part-time and runs a cleaning company. Some people just have so much energy.

I told a totally nnappropriate joke at work the other that my peeps from old job would have been in stitches over, but my new peeps just all sorta looked uncomfortable and weird (c'mon, poo and priests can be funny people!)

See? Crickets.

“are you the same Meanie McMeanie who went out of her way to make my high school years miserable”?

This, folks, is the message I had in my Facebook inbox yesterday. Yes, I recall the sender, but I don’t remember being mean to her. My stomach dropped when I read this. My gut reaction was to feel guilty (that seems to be my default reaction to everything for some reason). But then I started to talk to Jo about this, and work it out in my head. It just doesn’t sit well with me. I sort of see myself as the one who didn’t have the greatest time as a pre-adolescent. I am certainly not innocent of being mean to others, but the whole “mean girl” thing was sort of cyclical at that age – one week you’d be popular, the next week not so much. By the time I had hit high school, I was sort of damaged goods, but had found my circle of friends. It’s safe to say these friends were on the fringe of the social scene, but while I remember lots of inner turmoil, I have really fond memories of these friends. I certainly don’t recall making anyone’s life a living hell.

The message from this girl disturbs me on a few levels:

1) That all these years she has been living with this perception of me making her life hell and obviously being bothered enough by it that she is contacting me almost 25 years after the fact.
2) That, if perchance I was mean to her, I have no recollection of it. That really does bother me. I have 12 stepped, I know all about making amends, and this gal just doesn’t register with me as someone who I need to apologize to.
3) That this guy would have a similar reaction as my reaction to this girl if I ever contacted him about being mean to me.

I sent a message back to her, simply stating that I do indeed remember her, but don’t remember what she is accusing me of. I’m open to discussing it with her, I’m actually kind of curious to hear what she says.

What would you do? What would your reaction be?

We're booked! We're gonna do it all over again in just a weeks time......

Say whaaaaa???

Dropped Grace off today at a BD party at that wonderful place called Midway (think Las Vegas for the 7 and under crowd). I had Edie in tow, planning on dragging her around shopping with me to kill time whilst (can I use that word, "whilst" here?)Gracie whooped it up at the casino d'enfants. Anyhoooo, there was extra room at the party and the super-nice hostess-Mom invited Edie to join in on the fun. Well, didn't Miss Thing just rip off her leopard skin hat and glove ensemble and get down to business. I thought Grace might be disappointed, y'know, because this was her scene, NOT a scene for little sisters. I was a little apprehensive leaving, but then realized I had just been handed a golden ticket, granting me two hours of time to spend with my favourite person, me.

Three bathing suits, a latte and some fruity body lotion later, I returned to pick the girls. The Mom greeted me and asked what I was doing right. Huh? I never do anything right, what was she talking about? Turns out Grace polished her halo and became sister of the year. She didn't leave Edie's side the whole time, from taking her on the bumper cars, following her through the climbing area, encouraging her to eat her lunch and then, of course, teaching her the ins and outs of the slot machines (I'm pretty sure they have cameras there that follow Grace around when she goes there, girlfriend always turns a token into a small plush animal). I can't tell you how great his made me feel. Grace sort of treats Edie the way I image Mariah Carey might treat her personal assistant - bossy, tyrant-like and sometimes just plain mean. To hear this real world story of sisterly love made me feel like yeah, maybe I do do a pinch of something right, sometimes.

Tralalalala.

Advice!

In short, Jo had an argument with Grace this morning. Over a hairbrush. Grace couldn’t find hers, Jo gave her some options, and Grace replied “Fine, I’ll use Edie’s damn hairbrush”. Jo gave her a consequence for swearing, Grace replied that it wasn’t fair he got to say Damn and she couldn’t, and, well, *crickets*. I have no answer for this six year old logic.

I know, I know, the writing is on the wall for us, the adults, to clean up our language a bit. However, I need a band-aid until we do tidy up our language. Swearing to me is sort like there’s a time and a place for it, when used effectively, it can be quite appropriate (heh heh, I still love the f-word). However, I’m not sure our six year old, who has an answer for everything, will understand that. So, how do you explain that it’s okay for grown-ups to swear sometimes, but not kids?

Help, dammit!

ummm, just had a call from the doctor's office. Gracie has strep. I am getting this news more than 48 hours after having her at the clinic. I am to start a round of antibiotic asap.

Why couldn't this test have been done (taken from kids health website):

"If your child has a sore throat and other strep throat symptoms, call your doctor. The doctor will likely do a rapid strep test in the office, using a cotton swab to take a sample of the fluids at the back of the throat. The test only takes about 5 minutes."

Is this a test we don't have? I think it's awful that Grace has had to suffer longer than necesary when it could have been determined in 5 minutes. Does anyone know if this test is used in Ontario/Canada?

Jo and I have often thrown the idea around of getting out of dodge, moving out of town, just do something DIFFERENT to shake things up a bit. Boy oh boy though, during flu-times, sticking close to home seems like the best idea out there. Grace has been battling it since last Tuesday, and is off again today. I started a new job in the new year, and really can't take much time off to be with her. My house has seen a steady rotation of loving relatives, coming in to care for my little sickie. How lucky is that? If we were somewhere else, other than here, we would be up the creek without a paddle. Grateful.

I met the fantastic team of Chantal and Moira yesterday at hot yoga. I have been trying to meet Chantal for a long time now. I also just realized that I got into this blogging business because of her - her blog was the first one I ever read, on my first day back to work after my second maternity leave. I was like, huh? People write about their kids? Their family? Random bites from their life? I wanna do that too! And so, the blogging journey began. Bet you didn't know that, did you Chantal!
Chantal appears to be as awesome as I predicted. And she is tall. I was a little scared she might fall on me during tree pose. Tiiiimmmmmbbbbberrrrrr.....(kidding). We met detoxing our systems, I hope we can meet again and put some toxins back in our systems!

I've faced the beast head-on and she ain't pretty. I've fought her back with Tylenol, Advil, cold compresses, hot compresses, saltines, jello, and have even tried to cuddle it to death. Bitch. Keeps. Coming. Back. Gracie, my healthy, "gotta-run-her-before-bedtime" girl has been hit, and she's been hit hard by that bitch, Flu. For four days no, now school, no extracurricular activities and barely any food for this kid. Worrisome. I think people throw the word "flu" around a bit flippantly - a sniffle is not the flu, a cough and general malaise is not the flu. The flu is knock-you-down, heat you up, put a chill in your bones that violates your throat, head, lungs AND stomach. I hate seeing her like this.

Edie hopes she doesn't get it either. She said to me yesterday that she couldn't get sick, because where would all the kids go? I asked her what she meant and she said they wouldn't open the day care if she stayed home sick. LOVE the ego of a three year old!

Have a great weekend, bolt your doors, black out your windows. Flu is out there, looking for willing hosts......(oh, and if you don't hear from me for a week, you'll know Bitch got me too).

The best:

First Friday off with my new, 4-day a week job.
Finding a virgin hill to go tobogganing on with the whole family - not another soul in sight. We owned the hill. I love seeing the girls with healthy pink cheeks, bright eyes and sheer joy in their faces.
Clint Eastwood's new movie, Grand Torino. Run, don't walk. So good.
Hot yoga at Rama Lotus Centre, Sunday morning, 9-10:30. What a way to start the day. Sweat out all those nasty toxins and stretch out those tight muscles. Feels great.
A little one-on-one time with Edie the Bikini. We don't get much alone time together, so it was a delight to take her to Indigo, have coffee together (well, she had juice), and peruse the children's book shelves with her. Of course, she was dressed in full princess garb, crown and all, so all eyes were on her. She's so funny. I love how she, at three, can walk around, dressed head to toe in one of her many princess costumes and just own it.
Edie not liking the chocolate chip cookie I bought for us to share, so I got it all to myself.
Going swimming with Edie at the community pool. She's just getting over a little fear of the water and now loves to swim around, taking pride in being at arms length, rather than in my arms, when we swim.
Using the slow cooker, coming home to a warm meal, with no dishes, other than our dinner plates, to wash.
Everyone, including Jo, passing out at 8:30, leaving me, a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, and the Golden Globes alone together.

And the worst:

OC Transpo. Honestly, you people who voted No suck. People are so stressed out right now with lay-offs and financial crisis', I really do find it selfish of you to be extending this strike even farther. With all due respect, I really question your judgement. You are making many people's lives very difficult. Case in point: When Jo was exiting his car near Landsdowne park on Thursday night, he heard a feeble little "Help!" It came from an elderly woman, with groceries in hand, having difficulty making it to her home. Turns out she was in her 4th hour of her gorcery commute. With this damn strike, she has to walk to the closest grocery store (Billings Bridge) and carry her items home. Because she has to walk, she can only buy a few things at a time. This means she has to do this trip often. She had to call out for help, to a total stranger, to help her home with her things. And, do you remember how cold it was Thursday night? It was damn cold. Probably as cold as the strike-supporters hearts.

A big glass of WTF???

Okay City of Ottawa, you were feeling all warm and fuzzy before Christmas during the strike and granted us all reprieve from paying metered parking. And I thank you for that. But what happened over the holidays? Did you not get the present you wanted? Did Mayor Larry not pay you enough attention over the holidays? Did Toronto say something to hurt your feelings? Are you pms-ing? What else could explain the sudden decision to take away metered parking (without warning, I might add) and start issuing tickets? Seriously. Imagine the bile in my throat when I walked to my car the other day and found a ticket, for $95, for stopping in a no stopping zone. There is no way this way a no stopping zone – there was no signage ANYWHERE to indicate that it was a no-stopping zone. I have been parking there for the past 4 weeks without any indication that I was doing anything wrong. Well, City, I took pictures, from every freaking angle. I’m not scared to fight for what is right. See you in parking violation court bitch.

(errr, if I’m wrong about the parking thing bloggers, please let me know. I’m feeling feisty right now, but I don’t want to don my white wig in court and embarrass myself)

I asked XUP to interview me. I was a little scared of what she was going to ask, but here it is, and I don't need therapy.
1) One day you're a hot rocker chick student having the time of your life and the next day you're a wife, mother and government employee. How the hell did that happen?
Hot rocker chick? You flatter me. I still don't know how it all came together. I met my husband at university (knowing he was "the one"), so the wifey part was cemented early on. As for government employee? I really wanted to be a librarian. I love everything about librarians - their knowledge, wisdom, and ability to find out absolutely anything. And I love the environment they work in - quiet and peaceful. So, after graduating from university (a major in Theatre and double minor in Classical Studies and Women's Studies did not land me a job, natch) I signed up at Algonquin for the Librarian course. It was full, so they directed me to the Archives program. I didn't even know what an Archives was, but I haven't looked back since, working in museums, archives and libraries in our fair city. I firmly believe you can have a passion for a job in the government - it's just finding that right job. I also love the government for the conditions I can request (4 days a week, 7-3, with some telework). I recently switched jobs and handed in my blackberry - I was finding that particular job too stressful and demanding of my off time. Maybe when the girls are bigger are less demanding of my time, I will venture out of the civil service, but in general, I'm happy to be where I am. And it's fun to inject a little rock'n'roll in my co-workers lives.
The kids part is more interesting. Jo and I were just talking about this last night. We wanted to be married without kids for few years, just enjoy that kind of life. When we decided to have kids, nothing happened. It just wasn't happening. Jo had a job opportunity in Bermuda, so we decided to go for a year or two and then come back and deal with any infertility issues then. Of course, the day we signed the papers to go - tadaaa! Gracie became firmly planted in my uterus, and a mother I was to become. Grace was such a challenge as a wee one that I considered not having others - I thought I sucked as a mom and just wasn't enjoying the whole experience (I was later diagnosed with severe post-partum). But when the clouds lifted and things became more manageable we started trying again. One miscarriage ensued, then little Edie latched on and was born. Mother x2 I was and I became much better at the job, and I thoroughly enjoy my girls now. We would gor for another one or two, but only if we won the lottery or had a huge cash injection. Kids are expensive (and, so am I at times).
Sometimes I wish I could go out all the time, go to those small clubs, see bands sweat it out and rock. I really do miss it and think about it a lot. But, I would never wish my current life away, I really like it. I'm sure people will keep making music and clubs will keep opening. There will be time to do all that again.

2) What do you most fear about your girls becoming teenagers? I had shit self-esteem when I was a teenager and many problems stemmed from that, and many people took advantage of it. My biggest fear is that my girls won't have a strong sense of self and be easily influenced.

3) If you could be mayor of Ottawa for a day what three things would you change for this city?
Order OC Transpo back to work; cut the fat at City Hall and get rid of redundant positions and take the money saved and put it towards shelters/food banks; move whatever sports complex that is to be built from Kanata to Landsdowne.

4) You make an unscheduled trip home at noon in the middle of the week. The door is unlocked and you hear strange noises as soon as you enter the house. What do you think is going on and what do you do about it? Assume Jo is doing some minor house repair (he works close to home and often pops home at lunch) and go straight to the source. Now, if there was a strange car in the driveway I would likely call Jo to get his ass home and kamikaze the joint with me!

5) Who do you most admire? This question is much harder than I thought. There are people I admire like Angelina Jolie, for philanthropic reasons, and Mike Ness for his sexiness, but I honestly have to say I admire lots of people for different reasons. There is the girl at work who has the most amazing work ethic (I'm sure she doesn't even know what a blog is); there was my great Uncle Gordon who never ever ever ever said anything unkind about anyone; there's my dad who always disengages from gossip when it pops up; there are other members of my family who have overcome certain hardships and come out shining; my husband for his loyalty; there is my girlfriend who truly treats her body like a temple and doesn't eat any junk and excercises not to fit into a pair of size 2 jeans but to just feel good; I admire my 7 year old for her can-do and never give up attitude; I admire my 3 year old for wearing her heart on her sleeve and giving out love unconditionally. The ilst goes on. No one is perfect, but some people have mastered certain traits that I try to emulate.

Thanks so much for the thought provoking questions XUP - it's nice to re-visit my life and think about things I haven't really considered before. You're one cool cat for doing these interviews. Happy New Year.