Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Sigh. The bloom is off the rose, as they say.

The birthday celebrations were fun for all (though how 7 adults ended up slightly hungover after a 4 and 7 year birthday party is beyond me) and now I find myself dealing with WHY.

The 4 year old, though wide eyed and cute, seems to be incorporating the word "why" into her breathing pattern. Breathe in, why out. Seriously. I know I should encourage her charming curiosity, but I don't fucking know why she likes straws, that's for her to answer, not me. I don't know why she painted the picture blue, again, that was her decision to make, not mine. Why is she asking me these questions and not turning inward for the answers? I do remember this phase with Grace, though Grace tended to ask why about things she could not control, like the colour of the sky, the wierd gelatin in diapers after they've reached maximum absorption, that kind of stuff. Genuine curio.

Speaking of Grace, she is not beyond asking why, however, her why questions have a new spin to them. They include a hand on one hip, the other hip jutted out, and I think I detect a slight sneer when she asks the question and they usually come after I've asked her to do something terribly taxing like putting her socks in the dirty laundry hamper.

Why am I out of pinot noir??????

Friday, February 20, 2009

It's not the first time....

Someone asked me about what my girls names are. I told this person Grace and Edie. This person asked if Edie was named after Idi Amin. Yes, Jonas and I greatly admire the brutal Ugandan dictator, and wanted to forever commemorate him by naming our daughter after him. Gawd. People have also asked if she is named after Edie on Desperate Housewives. Now, I have never watched this show, but from what I understand, the character Edie is a slutty little thing, so no, we did not name our daughter after a pop culture figure who will fizzle out shortly, forever forgotten. Actually, I first heard the name Edie from Andy Warhol's Factory days. While I wouldn't say we named Edie after her, (she was a socialite, drug addicted, and likely died of suicide) I can safely say she inspired the name. And tragic life aside, she was kind of a cool cat.

So, not:

and not:

sort of:

But one day, I bet kids will be named after our fab little Edie.

Happy 4th birthday Edie Bikini!

Thursday, February 19, 2009

7 years old!?

If Grace is having a particularly rancourous day (is that a word? It should be if it isn't), I try to take her outside in the early evening and run her a little bit, in an effort to burst some of those little of atoms of energy bouncing around her body. When I took her out last Saturday for "the Walk", she didn't go charging out of the starter gate. Instead, at the base of our driveway, she reached for my hand. And so we walked. And we talked. She told me about the 4th grader who sometimes breaks the fort that her and her friend Katrina work so hard make. She asked me about the degree of severity of swear words, from worse to not so bad (I hid my smile when she informed me that the D word is "Dumb"). She told me that she wants to grow her bangs out. She told me that she doesn't really like TreeHouse anymore, the shows are too babyish and she now likes Zach and Cody, Suite Life and Hannah Montana. She also expressed concern that this will cause problems, because her sister is still very much into "baby"' shows like Max and Ruby. She told me that when she grows up she would like to be a spy, or a swimmer. She's not too sure yet.

I can't really remember what all else we talked about, but I do remember my eyes welling up on that walk, thinking about this precious, wonderful kid I have been given. Amazed that she is turning seven, and getting so mature. Remembering feeling like just a kid myself when we brought her home from the hospital, wondering what I was supposed to do with her. And then remembering when my instinct kicked in and walking the hallway with her, singing "This Little Light of Mine" to her over and over again until she would settle and fall asleep. Now, when we sing that song together, and part of me thinks that she too remembers those early bonding days. I hope we will always have that bond.

Happy Birthday my little light, shine on.

(sorry kiddo, Zac Efron hasn’t done a version of this song yet, but here are some pretty good alternatives)

My bum.

It feels weird lately. Like heavy and big. And low-slung. It doesn't feel like a part of me, I feel like I'm dragging around someone else's ass. Strange eh?

My clothes fit fine. I don't have one of those mirrors where I can see it, so I can no way of telling if it looks any different. It sounds the same when Jo smacks it when he walks by (endearing, right?)

I feel like someone attached a mom-bum to me when I was sleeping.


Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Meanie Economics, 101 (short course, held over the months of January-February)

-Realize I am spending way too much on coffee (Starbucks every morning adds up). I decide I need a Bodum to make my own.

-When I decide I want something, it becomes a compulsion. I do no comparison shopping, I do no research, I simply seek and buy. (insert sympathetic sounds for Jonas here) In this case, I spend about $40 at the Bay for a 3 cup Bodum (whatevs, their idea of 3 cup is one mug-full for me).

-Must now purchase ground coffee. Purchase ground hazelnut cream flavoured coffee, can’t remember cost, but optimistically bought a big-ish bag, so let us estimate about $5.00

-So excited to try coffee the next morning. Doing research after I bought the Bodum, I have read exciting statements in Bodum reviews that this is the best way to drink your coffee. Yippee! I’m going to be in da club!

-Next morning on the way to work (during the strike) walk by several Starbuck establishments and mentally thumb my nose at them. I’m going to have the best coffee ever this morning, tralalala.

-Get to office kitchen. Make coffee. Look cool and chic carrying my Bodum back to my office. Feeling very Euro and superior. I'm Audrey Toutou.

-Take first sip. Bleach! Tastes like shit! What did I do wrong???? Make another cup, add more coffee. Gross, still tastes like dishwater! I’m not chic! I’m not Euro! I’m Courtney Love! Caffeine withdrawal headache kicking in now. Knowing that I have a very short timeline between no caffeine and full-on lunacy, I humbly present my spare change to the closest barrista.

So, I have been staring at the Bodum on my desk for over month now, and am again on a first name basis with everyone at my ‘Bucks. I need to make my investment work for me before the barristas talk me into upgrading to a Venti instead my usual Grande every morning. Your homework is to pass on any Bodum success stories. It is the original French Press Bodum. It’s too pretty and sophisticated looking to go to waste.

Monday, February 16, 2009

A reminder

When I went to bed Saturday, a little tipsy from my Valentine night out , consisting of beer and nacho's with Jo, I said outloud "I am going to be Super-Mom tomorrow". I had such a crappy day with girls on Saturday, full of nagging, raised voices anad a few time-outs for good measure. At the end of the day, being given a moment to think about things without all the background noise, I realized that I hadn't been entirely fair to them. Their idea of a good time is not going to the Home Depot to look at paint colours (though Grace does have an obsession with the toilets on display). Their idea of a good time is not helping me organize my vinyl collection (and I am deeply offended when they giggle at Billy Idol's "funny" hair cut). Their idea of a good time is not trying to figure out why the beater bar on the vacuum isn't working. Their idea of a good time is playing games of hide and go seek, recruiting their parents of any kind of game and going outside for aimless walks, shits and giggles. I didn't do much to make sure they were having fun on Saturday. And I became frustrated when they kept interfering with what I wanted to do.

And so, Sunday was a new day, and here's how it went down:

-Three slow cooker meals prepared for the coming week - with little hands helping, it made things go a little more slowly, but they were engaged.
-Front hall closet and back closet cleaned out, with little feet playing a game of try on all the shoes (and Meanie has a hell of a lot of shoes....)
-Going outside, cleaning out the garage, girls discovering their bikes, and why the hell not? Doesn't have to be summer to ride a bike, and those frozen windrows make a pretty cool jump!
-Jonas painted the basement bathroom. We never go downstairs, but yesterday we did because he was there, and the girls re-discovered what was intended to be the play area of the house and all the old toys I routinely throw down there when I can't figure what else to do with them

And, to add to my mother of the year skills, the girls even ate what I made for dinner last night.....crispy breaded tofu nuggets.....and they liked it! So did Jo!

As I curled up on the couch at 8:30 last night, with a glass of red in one hand, my book in other, I reminded myself gently that they aren't going to worship me forever, and I can likely alphabetize my vinyl collection down the road.

Are there any interior design-type readers of this blog? We are re-doing our basement and I have no eye for paint colours/carpets. It is a big space, and the intention is for it to be a space for the kids to play and for Jo to host poker nights. I want it to be welcoming enough for me to enjoy going down there as well (I have an aversion to sub-terrain living, so it has to aesthetically pleasing). We are carpeting, and because the kids and poker people are likely to spill, I want to go with a darker carpet. My question is - what is a good colour for the walls? The carpet will likely be a dark brown with lighter flecks in it. There is one tiny window, but poorly placed, so there is little to no natural light coming in. Any suggestions are most welcome.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Apparently Mother Nature thought I would be more comfortable in Florida if I could see my breath – y’know, to make me feel right at home. I tried hard to hide my disappointment when the following occurred:

-I saw my breath because it was so freaking cold
-There were flags on the beach alerting us to dangerous marine life (read: sharks!) Apparently the sharks were all in a frenzy because it’s mating time, and they were coming closer to shore because it was so cold, and they too like to get it on with a reasonable temperature. Oh, and when sharks get horny, apparently they get all excited an snap at anything they can get their jaws on.
-There were flags on the beach alerting us to a dangerous undertow, which just fed my paranoia, due to a recurring dream, of Edie being swept out to sea with me helplessly swimming to save her but getting nowhere (*shiver*)
-The blue blobs peppering the beach. Stupid jellyfish couldn’t get it together enough to stay IN the ocean and instead were being swept ashore at an alarming rate. (I think it’s okay to call them stupid, right? I’m not hurting feelings, I’m pretty sure that jellyfish literally do not have brains)
-A father-in-law who apparently found a channel on TV that plays Nancy Grace 24/7

What made my disappointment subside:

-Fresh fish
-Squeals of joy from the girls when it did get warm enough to jump in the waves (with me hovering to swat away any horny sharks)
-Having Edie, Grace AND Jonas constantly asking me to check out the cool seashells that they found
-An awesome awesome 12 hour day at Disney, during which time the kids were just amazing, and did not ask for one thing when we were there (except to go on rides). While kids were melting down left right and centre of us, our little angels kept their cool and didn’t resort to this kind of behavior for a mere trinket (they are more inclined to save that kind of behavior for something much more important, like candy). Grace even went on Space Mountain twice, once with me and once with Jo. That’s hardcore.
-Hearing Edie say “My tummy feels hungry!” at the top of another rollercoaster, knowing that she is feeling butterflies instead.
-Sending Grace for a run around on the beach, having her eye me suspiciously and ask “Is this a trick to tire me out?”
-$7, $15, and $25 shoes purchased at the outlets (my own little effort for the economic stimulus).
-Warmer weather our last days there – I was tickled to get a sunburn.
-Movies on Air Canada. I watched the Duchess and the girls watched Treehouse.

I’m back, I’m refreshed. Tralalalala.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Does anyone know anything about Tartrazine? I’ve been reading more and more about it, and from I gather, Canadian products do not have to list it in it’s ingredients listing – it merely has to list it as “colour”. Reading about the ill effects it has on so many people, particularly children, has had me thinking. And documenting. And I have noticed a change in Gracie’s behaviour after consuming products that have this suspicious “colour” ingredient. I had originally banned MSG from the household because girlfriend was literally hallucinating and had a racy heart after consuming the stuff, but know I’m wondering if it is maybe Tartrazine to blame. I too have a history of anxiety, headaches etc. I find it all very suspect. Any info anyone has on this would be appreciated.

Uh, that was a boring post. Sorry about that. I’m am on vacation as of tomorrow, hopefully I’ll return to my charming, witty self upon my return! Until then: