Thursday, June 25, 2009


• Saw Away We Go last night – highly recommend it. What I do not recommend is sitting in front of 6 middle aged women who feel the need to comment endlessly on what is going on in the movie and state the obvious.

• While on the topic of annoying, I done figgered out a new pet peeve of mine (like I need anymore). I HATE it when people use decade+ old catch phrases and think they are funny. Example: Middle aged woman last night. Her reaction to a preview that she obviously didn’t like: “Buh-Bye – snort” (yes, she actually snorted). C’mon lady, buh-bye? Really you think that shit’s funny? It was funny when Dana Carvey did it, in the 1980’s.

• Not sure if mentioned that I was on a roll with only getting intimate with alcohol on the weekends. I made this move after the ever expanding waistline expanded a little too much last month. So, I quit booze, snacks after dinner and mindless eating. And, it has been making a difference. However, last night it was so hot, and the Heineken’s were quite agitated in the fridge (“we’re so c-c-c-c-c-cold Meanie, save us!” ) so Jo and I relieved them.

• My bestie is flying in tonight with her husband for a visit! Yippee! We sometimes go a whole year without seeing each other and now we are seeing each other twice within two months! I love this girl so much.

• We are heading to the cottage this weekend for Absolut. What is Absolut you ask? It is a weekend away with 5 other couples (same couples every year for the past 10 years) where we drink stoopid amounts of Absolut vodka, eat and be merry. We have been doing this since before any of us had kids. The evolution of the weekend has been amazing. I don’t have to do any ab exercises because I just laugh and laugh all weekend long.

That’s enough random.

*for MamaTulip – thank you!

Monday, June 22, 2009

• How do single parents cope when hit with an illness that just knocks you on your rump? Last Tuesday I left the office, pretty much on my hands and knees, feeling death crawling all over my body. For the next three days it took all my energy to get from my bed to the couch and back again. Usually on a sick day I can pull myself together for the ½ hour it takes to drive the girls to school. Not last week. No way. Probably a good thing as I would have scared small children with death-like pallor. Boo virus!

• The good thing that came from being sick was Mad Men on Rogers on Demand. Oh how I love this show. I may have to stay up past my bedtime to watch the remaining episodes. While I don’t necessary want to be a 1950’s housewife, I sure as hell would like to dress like one (with the exception of the pointy boobs – how was that ever in style?) So fun. Such a great series. Yay virus!

• My near death experience last week got me back into my favourite skirts that I couldn’t otherwise fit into – yay virus!

• Almost looking into the light last week has me behind on everything from laundry to cooking to bathing the children to bringing myself to picking up the macaroni noodle under the table that I have been eyeing for the past 5 days. Boo virus!

• One of my dearest friends came for whirlwind visit this weekend arriving Friday leaving Sunday. I know how difficult this was for her as she has three under 6 at home, but wow, was it ever great to see her, and we picked right up where we last left off 3 years ago. Those are the friends you want to hang on to. At least my sickness timed itself well and got of my system before she arrived. Yay virus!

• Being on the couch allowed me to watch the veritable festival of activity that takes place in our back yard. I now realize that yes, birds actually do use the bird feeders, as do the squirrels and chipmunks. And, we have birds living in the dollar store birdhouses that the girls decorated last year! These little houses look like Ugly Betty threw up all over them, but apparently birds like the festive look. Yay virus!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Those of you reading my blog for awhile may recall a darker post about rape . My best friend was drugged and raped after a night out with girl friends. I'm happy to report that not too long ago, my bestie and I shared drinks, laughs and danced to bad (great!) 80's music, just like the old days. While the ghost of rape still haunts, it was a little less present than our last visit together. There is still much for my friend to deal with, and all is not perfect, however, she has sent out this latest update on her case (posted with her blessing):

Hi all,
I have some news - as some of you may recall, the pretrial in the sexual assault case of Fernando Manuel Alves occurred last August. He was committed to trial on only 2 of the 5 counts (2 victims could not testify, and there was no "proof" that it was him who drugged me). The trial was scheduled for June 8-26, 2009.
I have just heard from the Crown Counsel, who told me that he has pleaded guilty. He accepted a plea bargain, in which he pleads guilty to my assault, but the other remaining assault charge has been dropped. The Crown is asking for 12-18 months in jail. We won't know what he gets until sentencing, which I am told will happen some time in June or July. He will be registered with the Sexual Offenders Database, and is required to provide a DNA sample for forensic records.
So there will be no trial, I will not have to testify again, (though in some sick way I was looking forward to obliterating the defense laywer again :) While this episode is by no means over for me or my family, there is finally some closure, and we are all happy about that.
Some more good news on that front, the investigation into Sergeant Asshat, head of the Sexual Offenses Squad of the XXXXXX Police Department has, after significant delays, concluded that Sergeant Asshat was indeed guilty of a disciplinary default in his treatment of me, and he has been removed permanently from that department. We are very pleased about this, as future victims will not have to deal with the "re-traumatizing" I faced in dealing with this individual.
Thanks to everyone for your support, and I ask that you feel free to share my story to educate others, as the epidemic of drug-assisted sexual assault is growing rapidly, and EVERYONE is a potential victim.

Here's to better days ahead,


Part of this pleases me, for her, for now she won't have to go through the agonizing ordeal of having to testify and justifying her status as victim. Part of it really pisses me off that an act that has negatively impacted her life, for the rest of her life, is worth, AT MOST, 12-18 months in jail. And that there other victims out there, who will not get this kind of "closure" because of the way our legal system works ("So....if I say I'm guilty of this can I not be punished for that?").

And because of my friends strength and conviction in what is right and what is wrong, Sgt. Asshat will no longer work with victims of sexual offences. She fought for this, she did not let it go, no matter how emotionally exhausting it was to fight that fight and keep the case open.

As the days of summer approach and we hit patios and parties, please always be aware of your drink, who you are with, and who your friends are with. These things happen too easily and fighting for justice is damn hard.

Rape doesn't discriminate. All women, of all ages, need to be aware.

International Rape Crisis Hotlines

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

Has anyone read “Late Nights on Air” by Elizabeth Hay?

Freaking painful by my standards. I’m about 1/8th in, not sure if I should continue or not. Has anyone read this? Does it get better? Not one character is speaking to me….in fact, I’d like to bitch slap all of them right now. The only reason I trudge angrily on is because my Mom swears by it.

Anyhooo, can’t remember who recommended the following, but they were fan-tastic.

The Outcast
Petty Details of So and So’s Life
Elle (is that what it called? French woman abandoned on shores of pre-devleopped Canada? Hides in the guts of a bear?)

More Can-lit recommendations please….I’m in reading mode and want to take advantage of it!!!!!

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Are you there God?

For the past few months, Grace has been asking more and more questions about God and church. Some of her friends go to church, and one little friend from school has taken it upon herself to teach my poor little heathen child some good old bible basics.

When I was growing up, I attended church with my mom up to a certain age. I didn’t like church. I didn’t like Sunday-school. The stories they told and the pictures they showed gave me nightmares. I didn’t get the part about being forgiven – it was my understanding that if I fucked up, that was it, game over, straight to hell for me. I also thought the kids at Sunday school smelled funny and the sandwiches tasted strange.

I also grew up in a HEAVILY white, Christian-ish community. Not a whole lot of opportunity to explore difference cultures and religions. In fact, anyone with even a hint of something different about them was the object of scrutiny. One little Jehovah’s Witness girl fueled many a rumor in grade 2 (really, the idea of not celebrating Christhmas or birthdays? That suckths!) And the one Pakistani family in the community had a son who was mentally challenged. In my very young years, I remember assuming Pakistani=mentally challenged. Horrible, right?

Back to the church thing. As you can imagine, I gave up on the church early. Never balked at it, but also never embraced it. In my teens, a *situation* forced me to study the 12 steps of AA. This program has a heavy spiritual component to it that forces you to put faith in a higher power. Rather than embrace God as he stars in the bible, I chose to embrace a loving entity whom I did not call God. And she was a woman. And we made our own rules, and this still works for me today when I need a little hit o’ faith.

Still with me? So, when Grace poses me questions about God and church, I don’t really feel that I am the best person talk to. That brings me to this coming Sunday. I am taking the girls to their first church service at a Unitarian church. This church sounds like Shangri-La to me, where all religions are embraced, explored, and they even have a statement on their website stating that they welcome same-sex couples, transgendered, transsexual, cross-dressing, (I’m sure I’m missing something) peoples.

I hope they welcome princesses. Edie will insist on a regal outfit for this one.