Monday, April 27, 2009

What's worse???

The other day I was in the bathroom, putting on my face and such. I had my tunes blasting away. At this particular moment, Sex and Violence by the Exploited was on. When Grace came round the corner, I scrambled to skip the song, not wanting her to hear it. I was kind of upset with myself for playing it when the kids were around. I've certainly censored what I listen to when with the girls - some themes are just way too mature for them and I don't feel ready to explain certain lyrics to them just yet. The minivan is primarly a Clash, Ramones and Blondie ride. Sometimes Social Distortion when I'm feeling a little saucy.

I got to thinking though, is this:

really any worse than this?:

I think the latter is so manipulative and drives me nuts that this music is marketed towards kids.

Give the Exploited a listen - lyrics aside, it's a catchy, catchy tune!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Get a babysitter – we’re gonna need one!

Bluesfest 2009 was announced yesterday, and I’m pretty excited about a few of the acts! And who cares if they don’t fit into the blues category – this is always such an exciting time in Ottawa for us to kick back and have some fun!

-Jeff Beck
-Ben Harper
*-Blue Rodeo
-k.d. Lang
-Los Lonely Boys
***-The Yardbirds
****-Steve Earle
-Stone Temple Pilots
*****-Brian Setzer Orchestra

These are the acts that stand out for me…..there are so many others on the list. Here’s the official line-up. Who are you excited about? Please fill me in on someone who is The Awesome who is not on my list, I hate to miss out! (Keep in mind that Our Lady Peace makes my ears bleed).

*Jo and I met Jim Cuddy at their last performance I Ottawa. It’s so strange meeting a “star” – I had sweet f-all to say. Kind of awkward actually. “umm, hi, nice to meet you….yeah, great show. Okay then…”*crickets*

**I presumed Jo dead after a KISS concert many years ago. We were living in sin, and he didn’t come home the night of the concert. When I woke up the next morning, he still wasn’t home. When I was leaving for work I looked out the window and there was a cop car parked there. I literally took a deep breath, marched outside, braced myself for the news that he was dead/in jail/in the hospital. Turns out the cop just liked the looks of our driveway to park and get his day organized. As for Jo, in his drunken state, he figured it would be better if he didn’t come at all.
We’ll be going to KISS together this year. Hmph.

***Wasn’t Eric Clapton a member of the Yardbirds?

****I’ve really liked this guy for a lonnnnggg time. I remember at the tender age of 17 heading to bar one night by myself to see him. That was an intimidating experience. There I was with my kilt and mary jane’s on while surrounded by what seemed like all the Hells Angels chapters in Ontario. Great show though, added to the ambience, and there were no problems. Wow though. Those guys were tough looking (so were their girls).

*****Love Stray Cats. Love Brian Setzer. This music makes me happy. Have never seen them live. When I was about 14 I painted the Stray Cat logo on the back of a jean jacket – it was super cool. Well, some asshat also really liked it because it went missing after a party one night. I still scan the horizon for that vest – it was that special to me.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


So Edie (4 years old) had some homework last week. Her daycare gave her a big poster board, with her picture in the middle, with the instructions to put things on the poster that she likes, doesn’t like, whatever makes Edie Edie.
Awesome. Puffed up with pride because she was like her big sister now, getting homework, Edie got to work immediately. I did help a bit. I pulled magazines for her to look at pictures and pick some she would like to cut out to glue to her poster. I wrote the words she wanted on the poster (“I like tomatoes!” and did the cutting of the pictures. Edie glued (apparently 4 year olds do not have much faith in the power of glue sticks, which explains why Edie used a quarter of a stick for each image). Edie used her keen eye to place the images on the poster in an aesthetically pleasing way (I did have to fix the pictures of Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse – Edie would have left them in a 69 position). The result was an endearing poster, with pictures of tomatoes, balloons, the number 4 and lots of letter E’s (4 and E? Nothing is better than 4 and E. NOTHING). As mentioned, also on there, a slightly debased Mickey and Minnie, Edie’s name written in her own hand, and a big ole picture of her Auntie Lesley’s dog, Bogart. All in all, a wonderful effort, reflecting the spirit of an awesome little 4 year old. We handed in the poster last week, anxiously waiting for it to be hung with those of her peers.

Well, the “installation” took place yesterday.

My God people.

I’m pretty sure some parents stayed up way past their bedtime working on some of these. Trips to Michael’s had been made, 3-D images were glued, poster board had been replaced by better quality, different coloured poster board. Layouts were meticulous, small essays had been written, stenciling took place and I’m pretty sure one was wired for sound (well, I’m exaggerating on that one).

This makes me kind of sad. In no way do these efforts reflect a 4 year old’s talents. I know the parents mean well, and kudos to them for caring so much to turn in such wonderful works of art, but this was a project for your child to embrace! To have fun with a glue stick, to pick pictures that spoke to them, pictures that made them happy. It was meant to give them an opportunity to shine on their own – not for you to show off your made craft skills.

Of course I like Edie’s the best, she’s my kid. But I also think we are going have the better keepsake, a good memory of what was inspiring our child at the tender age of 4.

Sigh. Let your kids be kids.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Good boy!

Dinner party last night. Dinner party quickly turned into a drunky drunky booze fest. My parents were babysitting so I made the early exit to relieve them of their grandparent-ly duties. Jo? Jo did not escape so easily. Jo stayed on. Drank on. From what I understand from the host, wrapped things up around 3:00 a.m. The good boy part? He never made it to bed. He didn't even bother. He quietly, drunkenly snuck downstairs to the spare bedroom (which I'm sure was no easy feat because the girls have boobytrapped the basement so every adult foot makes contact with a barbie stiletto or the sharpest piece of lego one can imagine).

I'm so proud of him. He knew not to even bother entering our bedroom in such a sorry, stinky, loud (snoring state). He FINALLY gets it.

*photo not of Jo. Could be though. This is an image from Google Street View.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Ugh, coughing, sniffles. Not feeling well at all.

Thoughts on Easter: So, when I was growing up, Easter was all about hot cross buns, an easter egg hunt and a big meal to round things off. I have a vague recollection of picture book with a big rock beign rolled away to expose an empty cave with some gauze/bandaids in it.

This year, the girls did all that AND received gifts. Wrapped gifts! There were ribbons, gift bags and tissue paper! Very kind of the gifters, but I'm not sure about this turning Easter into Xmas. Is this a trend in my family only or do you see it happening as well? Being a non-religious family, it is always tricky at Christmas to explain the meaning of Christmas, receiving gifts, etc. but we do our best to explain the whole thing. Now, Easter is a whole new thing to explain. Even if we were religious, how do you explain Easter to the 7 and under crowd? Death is not a topic I choose to explore much, the girls' imaginations don't need the baggage right now.

That brings me to Grace. Walking around my parents back yard yesterday, we showed her the little gravestone where we buried our family dog, McDuff. He died in 2001. She immediately wanted to dig the body up. The more we talked about letting the departed rest, the more frantic she became. We explained that he would only be bones now - this piqued her curiosity even more. I told her I would find photos of, um, decomposed dog remains on the internet. Nope, she wants the real thing. Dying of curiosity (excuse the pun) to see the real thing. What an odd little girl she can be.

Cue to bedtime. Grace and I have a cuddle before I say goodnight. I usually allow her one last question before I go. The questions ranges from can she have a glass of water to what we are doing the next day. Last night's question? If McDuff's body was still underground, does that mean he didn't go to heaven? (Even though non-religious we rely heavily on happy ideas like Heaven). Have you ever tried to explain the notion of spirits/souls crossing over and leaving our bodies behind to a kid? I don't think I did a very good job because she woke up at 2:00 a.m., unable to turn off her brain.

I wish kids would pose questions like a professor poses essay questions. I would have two weeks to think about it and turn in a decent answer instead of the garbage I spew out sometimes.

Monday, April 06, 2009

Cutest thing I heard this weekend: Edie calling a bird's beak a "Tweak" (makes me think of a robin on crystal meth)

Best discovery: We had a dinner party on Saturday and one of our guests was drinking white wine. I only drink red, but because there was one glass left in the bottle I thought I shouldn't waste it so I drank it. It was soooo good! Why didn't anyone tell me white wine was good? Honestly, I depend on you people for these things!
I hereby designate Fridays for red, Saturdays for white, and ummmm, another day for beer.

File under WTF?:
I weigh 12 pounds less on the doctor's office scale than I do on our home scale. I try not to dwell tooooo much on these numbers, but c'mon, how could I not smile under those circumstances?

Looking forward to: My first opera, next Saturday. One of those one's that are projected at a movie theatre. Going with my mom and dad. I bet 25 years ago when my folks were driving me to punk gigs that they NEVER dreamed we would be going to the opera together. I know it would have never even entered my mind.

Currently eating: baby potatoes drowning in a balsamic, dijon mustard dressing. So f-ing good.

Made me sad: Holding Grace as she cried herself to sleep last night because she misses a good friend. Big heart in that kid. Really big heart prone to breaking.

What bugs me: Parents at the Children's Museum who lecture their kids about culture, persian rugs and sushi instead of just letting them run amok and discover things in their own time with a little gentle guidance (especially to the woman shrieking for everyone to hear "Do you remember eating sushi when you were 1 1/2 Blessedberry? That's S-U-S-H-I, can you spell that? hahahahahah normally she can spell that, why aren't you spelling it sweetie?" (no, Blessedberry wasn't the kids name, but it might well have been). Seriously, the kid must have been 2 years old, tops.
(I actually love the flashcard I posted above - but that doesn't make me annoying as that woman, does it?
To give credit where credit is due, they can be purchased here)

C'est tout, or is that tous? I always forget.

Thursday, April 02, 2009


So, I have discussed Gracie's desire to be wrapped in nothing but velvety goodness for the past few years. How I have depleted Value Village's size 6x velvet stock on more than one occasion. The velvet obsession never bothered me, in fact, I may have even been a little jealous - particulary of the velvet jumpsuit she occasionally dons on weekends (seriously, a one piece, zip-up slice of velvet heaven in steel-blue).

Well, last week, out of nowhere, Grace took a pair of jeans from her drawer. The jeans had been banished to the back of the bottom drawer. I assumed they would be eventually chucked in the "Edie Bucket" (the tupperware bin I put potential hand-me-downs for Edie in). Grace scurried off to the bathroom to get changed (this is where she gets changed because it is the only door in the house with a lock, and we are a family prone to barging in on people). She came out of the bathroom, wearing her stiff little jeans, with a shy smile on her face "how do they look Mommy?"

*Oh my, oh Gracie, when you put on those jeans you also lost a little baby fat in your face, your gait became even more graceful, and for some reason it brought a tear to my eye and made me want to freeze time.*

You look beautiful.