“are you the same Meanie McMeanie who went out of her way to make my high school years miserable”?
This, folks, is the message I had in my Facebook inbox yesterday. Yes, I recall the sender, but I don’t remember being mean to her. My stomach dropped when I read this. My gut reaction was to feel guilty (that seems to be my default reaction to everything for some reason). But then I started to talk to Jo about this, and work it out in my head. It just doesn’t sit well with me. I sort of see myself as the one who didn’t have the greatest time as a pre-adolescent. I am certainly not innocent of being mean to others, but the whole “mean girl” thing was sort of cyclical at that age – one week you’d be popular, the next week not so much. By the time I had hit high school, I was sort of damaged goods, but had found my circle of friends. It’s safe to say these friends were on the fringe of the social scene, but while I remember lots of inner turmoil, I have really fond memories of these friends. I certainly don’t recall making anyone’s life a living hell.
The message from this girl disturbs me on a few levels:
1) That all these years she has been living with this perception of me making her life hell and obviously being bothered enough by it that she is contacting me almost 25 years after the fact.
2) That, if perchance I was mean to her, I have no recollection of it. That really does bother me. I have 12 stepped, I know all about making amends, and this gal just doesn’t register with me as someone who I need to apologize to.
3) That this guy would have a similar reaction as my reaction to this girl if I ever contacted him about being mean to me.
I sent a message back to her, simply stating that I do indeed remember her, but don’t remember what she is accusing me of. I’m open to discussing it with her, I’m actually kind of curious to hear what she says.
What would you do? What would your reaction be?