Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I've been so sick! Stomach flu! Head cold chest cold flu-like symptoms! Gaaack! Don't worry, I'm okay, just really pathetic and full of self-pity (from which I have learned, family members assume if you feel sorry for yourself, there is no need for them to feel sorry for you as well).
Soooo, instead of Meanie Monday, we'll do Weanie Wednesday.....(I'm stuffed up, so it kinda sounds like that anyways).
Things that my parents told me/have done to me that still haunt me to this day:
1) If I pick at my scabs, a big red line will go from the scab to my heart, and I will have to get a big needle in my bum.
2) Tomato cans, soup cans, all cans are DEADLY SHARP DO NOT TOUCH I REPEAT DO NOT TOUCH!!!! (I still get a little scared when I have to deal with opening a can).
3) It's not good to bring warm water to a boil. Only cold water will do.
4) The soundtrack to Endless Love is innapropriate and the record sleeve pictures are pornagraphic.
5) My parents picking me up early from a birthday party when they heard that Porky's was the featured movie of the night.
6) My dad driving me and some very cool punk rock friends to a punk gig one night, called the band we were seeing "Stinky Socks" (it was actually GBH we were seeing).
7) My Mom, visiting me at university, upon seeing a boy putting the moves on me, announces to the table in a shrill voice: "He takes liberties with my daughter!" (why yes, my mom is from the Shakepearean era).
8) Again, my mom, using the words panties and slacks, liberally, and instead of saying Tiger says Tager.
I bring this up because today I used #1 on Grace after a vigorous scab picking session. It's a slippery slope from here folks.
Did your parents scar you with their strange notions?