Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Follow up to the last post - sooooome drama has been abatted. I worked in Edie's classroom on Monday, and will continue to do so until I find work and can't do it anymore. Am I helicoptering my child? I dunno, maybe. She's just so damn smotherable. I guess I need to feel like I'm doing everything I can to help her through this rough patch. Besides, I get to wear a special badge and pinney with a big orange X on it identifying me as a volunteer. That's pretty special, don't deny it. That being said, when I did volunteer on Monday, I did hear a couple of kids invite her to play with them and she shyly declined. When I asked her about it she said she would rather hang out with the recess monitor because she (Edie)is her official helper. I introduced myself to the helper (identified by the special pinney and badge, I hope I look as cool as she does) and she is a lovely woman, kind and warm and I get why Edie feels safe with her. Maybe Edie is networking in her own little way, attaching herself to an authority figure, who kids flock to at recess, and Edie gets to meet them this way, slowly, on her own terms.

I did observe in the Grade 1 classroom The Table though. Oh you know it girlfriends, the table of 4 girls who form that exclusive club that is oh so difficult to break into. They just have that air about themselves, they are the "It" girls and they know it. I don't think Edie realizes these girls are mean girls yet; she did try to sit at their table but she was shooed away (I managed to retract my claws, forked tongue and medusa hair JUST in time) but Edie did seem unfazed by them and moved to a different table fairly seamlessly.

I think I have figured things out though. In Ottawa Edie grew with her friends from daycare, preschool to public school. Same kids from the beginning. Edie is quirky, no doubt about it, but that is all her friends knew about her, so they were accustomed to her and accepting of it. If Edie wanted to sit in a corner and talk to imaginary unicorns and spread glitter all around, it was fine. If the next day she wanted to join in on that game of hide and go seek, perfect. That's just Edie. Maybe it is just going to take a bit of time before things settle. Meanwhile, I need to diplomatically teach her that mean girls=suckage, confident unique girls=awesome.

I promise in my next post I will be back to blogging about what a crappy mom I am and how much wine I drink, pinky swear promise!


Mandy said...

Girls are so crazy. When you try to become friends in a mature normal way they see that they have power over you or something... The more you love yourself and do your own thing, the more they want to be your friend.

I think Edie's doing great and it's nice to hear that she walked away from the cool girl table to go and be herself somewhere else instead of trying to change herself in order to stick around.

Being a kid is so hard. (I'm serious.)

zoom said...

That last post just about broke my heart. I don't even know her, but I'm so glad she's got you for a mom. A kid like that needs someone cool in her corner who can help her navigate the system while loving all her quirks.

petite gourmand said...

oh this is so heartbreaking.
I can only imagine.

Moving and making new friends is hard (I know this all too well having moved every 1-2 years of my life up until age 14)
I just wish lulu was closer. I'm sure she would love to play magic unicorn in the corner with Edie.
At the very least I'm sure she would be right there with a welcome basket filled with cheese strings and rice crackers..

It's good that you are able to be at the school to volunteer and keep a close eye on things.
Absolutely nothing wrong with driving the helicopter when the need arises.

Nat said...

This whole thing is heartbreaking. I remember being the quirkly new kid... god scary how this stuff stays with you. Wish I'd had a mom like you to help me through it.

This too shall pass. Then we can return to our regular scheduled wine consumption.