Monday, January 17, 2011

I think I have figured out what Edie has been put on earth for. Now that William Shakespeare is dead (well, it has been a few years) it occurs to me that we don’t have a great writer of tragedy. I suspect Edie is Shakespeare incarnate, but with a modern vocabulary (and slight lisp due to missing teeth). Who else could spin the mundane into epic tales of being wronged? Some examples:

1) When informed it was Grace’s turn for her skating lesson and not hers, the tears flowed, the whining built up to a climax of “THIS IS MY WORST SKATING DAY EVER!”

2) When informed her DS had to be recharged and would not function until recharged, the tears again flowed, and the whining progressed to crying and finally peaked at “THIS IS MY WORST DS DAY EVER!”

3) When having her teeth brushed, with a parent holding her little jaw still (this is a jaw that never stops, yes, it is necessary to hold it still) the sessions ends with a brief soliloquy of “IT FEELS LIKE YOU BROKE MY BONES!!!”

4) When denied a pit stop for hot chocolate for some misdeed, I’m pretty sure there was a Greek chorus in the minivan supporting her cries of “MY HEART IS TURNING BLACK! NOW IT’S TURNING GRAY! NOW IT’S TURNING YELLOW! NOW IT’S TURNING RAINBOW!” (We made the mistake of saying that it was nice that her heart was turning rainbow, this amped up the tears tenfold).

So, Edie is just cutting her teeth at being a great playwright. Maybe it’s not too early to get her started. I can just picture an audience of dressed up 5 year olds tearing up at the great injustice of being denied hot chocolate/DS/skating lessons/Max and Ruby.

*Oh and hey! Thanks for de-lurking! Always fun to get comments.


Anonymous said...

Mine isn't even 3 yet and I get the "It's not faaaaaiiiiir!" diatribes. Oh I'm scared.

Laura said...

I laughed out loud at the drama. MY HEART IS TURNING BLACK...NOW IT'S TURNING RAINBOW! I'm totally going to steal that line. Brilliant.

Pauline said...

I've never heard of #4 being uttered by children before. Her complaining is quite innovative! ;)