Monday, October 19, 2009

What would you do?

So I go into work pretty early so I can leave pretty early. I started doing this to minimize the guilt I feel about the girls being in daycare; this way, Jo drops them off in the later morning, and I pick them up early afternoon. In nice weather this allows time for trips to the park, bike rides, etc etc.

They used to run to me, so happy to see me, peppering me with questions about the plans for the afternoon. Feeling like the The Best Mother In The World, I would look with pity at the moms and dads trying to pick up their kids from daycare who did not want to go home quite yet.

Recently there has been a shift, a change in the winds. It happened gradually, and I should have seen it coming. Last week, it happened. When I picked up Edie, she was engrossed in a tea party, dressed in full princess regalia, crooked tiara and all, pouring refreshments for her subjects. She saw me walk in. Did she run over, leap into my arms like she normally does? Nope. Did she walk over slightly reluctantly, then hug me, realizing how happy she was to see me? Nope. Did she even invite me over for a cup of freaking tea? No. She looked at me, I’m pretty sure she scowled a little bit, fixed her tiara and kept on a-pouring and told me she wasn’t ready to go yet.

I walked down to Gracie’s room at the daycare, looking for some love there. Let’s just say that jar of hodge podge, some pieces of fabric and a cardboard box hold more allure than I do these days.

So, what would you do – would you insist on tearing the girls away from their social time at day care to bond with you, or would you take 45 minutes for yourself to get dinner ready in peace, go for a run, or just run a few errands?


Tiana said...

Option 2

girlaboutOtown said...

Option 2 for sure!

I get the stink-eye almost every day when I pick up my girl...
She is perfectly happy to live life out there on her own learning, doing stuff and playing with her friends. I think she actually sets a pretty good example for me to follow.
We bond when she really needs me - which is often enough - and its those times that make me feel most like a mom.

XUP said...

Hmm, I'm of the opinion that you should be there early to pick them up. A regular, set time every day so they know when to expect you. 4 out of 5 days they might be otherwise occupied, but that 5th day they might need to come home. You never know, right? Kids are going to push you away more and more as they get older - it's how they grow up and become independent. BUT that should never mean that you GO away. Their rejection now just means that they're confident of you as their mom and know you'll always be there when they want/need you. So don't feel hurt or unwanted. And don't disappoint them or undermine that confidence. They will always need to know you're there and can be counted on, no matter how hard they push you away.

Nat said...

I'm with XUP on this one. The kids need routine, if the kids are used to getting picked up at a certain time, then I'd try to stick to it even if it means pulling them away from an activity. (They'll be back tomorrow. Right?) I used to give The Boy a 5 minute warning, after that it was time to go. But I certainly wouldn't leave them there and come back later.

Now you may want to consider a new later routine. (Just a thought.)

Hannah said...

I would pick them up at the regular time and tell them its time to leave. They may not like it, but its not like they can't resume their activity later.