oh, hi there God, I'm really sorry for that not so humble post the other day about how great my life is with my hunky husband, two cute girls and a kick ass pool. i totally understand why you had to take me down a notch or two by doing the following:

-given me a fever of 100 degrees with a brutal case of nausea (please, i hope you didn't plant any sperm in my eggies!)
-given my two girls stomach issues, which makes them almost as cranky as i
-made my two year old pull down my shirt at karate today to expose everyone to what i like to call my beige, "not lookin' for any" bra
-when treating the girls to some dairy queen tonight, on a busy patio, made my toilet-trianed oops no she isn't! two year pee in front of everyone. seriously, what is the appropriate way to deal with that? i'm hoping that throwing the remains of my lemon infused perrier water on it and running away was.

yup, lesson learned. i am humbled. please, just let up on me!

I'm never going back to work....EVER!

Why is my Blogger layout so f***ed up?

Poo-fingers

Edie is toilet training right now. She's actually doing fairly well, with a few accidents here and there (usually all over her and Grace's Polly Pockets for some reason). Anyhooo, early this morning (1 a.m.) there was a cry, it was Grace with a nightmare. Before going in to console her, I decided to empty my bladder in the girl's washroom. It was dark. I felt something squishy between my toes. I reached down with my fingers to further investigate (I was half asleep!) I brought my fingers up to my face to try and make out the squishy substance. Yup, you guessed it. Edie left a little Hershey kiss for me to find in the middle of the night. I had poo toe, poo fingers, a crying five year old, and husband who didn't wake up for any of it. Thank God there were clorox wipes nearby - I think I took exfoliation to a whole new level!
Even more worrisome is that when I related this take to a group of friends today, everyone had similar stories.

Sitting around eating bonbons

Ummmm, why do I go to work everyday?

Okay, this is the first day of the 3 weeks of holidays. Guess what I'm doing...pulling my hair out because the kids are driving me crazy? Nope. Racking my brain for a fun craft to do? Nope. Baking cookies? Nope. Give up? I'm surfing facebook and blogging, because Grace is at friends house and Edie is napping.

This. is. the. bomb. Ser.

Staying loco, I mean local

Jo just started a new job (private sector – he just isn’t a government kind of guy) so we won’t be taking any holidays this year. This is quite fine by me, I sort of like chilling around the house. However, I am faced with 3 weeks off, just me and the girls. For some reason, Grace and Edie don’t see the beauty in drinking coolers, reading trashy magazines and lounging by the pool all day. These kids are going to want some action. So, if anyone has any suggestions as to how I can entertain these guys, send me your suggestions. We love a good adventure, keeping in mind that one little adventurer still needs a nap in the afternoon.

the Exploited - dead cities

after my wussy elmo post, here's somethine to redeem myself....

You've won this round, Bratz
Grace is not a girly-girl. She rarely wears skirts, more rarely wears a dress, can’t stand pony tails or any other form of hair decoration. She has only a few times requested to have her nails painted and doesn’t show any interest in getting into my make-up. We have Barbies and dolls, but they are pushed aside for puzzles and building blocks. She was bored in ballet and is ecstatic that she can now do a round-house kick thanks to her dedication to karate. This all sits well with me. I want to raise girls who are confident, not image conscious and who don’t feel the need to fit into any one mold. For my part, I’ve stopped buying my beloved fashion magazines (and I hide my Star weekly) so they aren’t exposed to those unrealistic beauty expectations.

Imagine my chagrin this week when Grace started coming home with these weird drawings of girls. I asked her about them and she said she was tracing pictures of Bratz, and that she actually kind of likes Bratz now. I feel so let down! At the toy store, Grace and I would laugh and mock the row of Bratz, asking each other who would ever want to buy one! Well, now she’s mixing with the older girls in Grade 1 and I guess they are introducing her to all kinds of nonsense now. I will continue to boycott these dolls and refuse to buy her any licensed apparel with their name/logo on it. I’d like to roundhouse kick the makers of these icky, creepy slutty little dolls. They look like eight year old plastic surgery victims with their plumped up lips, bad hair extensions and clothes from Fredericks of Hollywood. What’s equally annoying about them is that every product from Bratz has a “z” at the end of it: they don’t have pets, they have petz. They don’t have babies, they have babiez.

I hope she gets over this fade quickly. I have to play my cards right, if I show her how much it bugs me, she’ll only want Bratz more.

Elmo and Andrea Bocelli

is it wierd that this brought tears to my eyes? i mean, c'mon, it's elmo for chrissakes, but it is one of the sweetest things i have ever heard/seen.