Nobody told me there’d be days like these….
Last night I was tired. Jo went out to play hockey and I looked forward to getting the girls to bed and enjoying a little couch time. Grace complained a little that her tummy was aching – I chalked it up to her delaying bedtime. I rubbed her tummy until she was asleep (8:30). I then busied myself with making everyone’s lunches for the next day and tidying up the kitchen. (9:00). I longingly looked at the couch, but also thought of the laundry piling up. I threw in a quick wash and grabbed the items from the dryer, items now permanently wrinkled from sitting there for days. (9:30). Again, I gazed wistfully at the couch, but as I walked towards it, I impaled my foot on a piece of princess lego. With a quick scan, I realized there were toys everywhere, so I did a quick tidy up. (10:00) Finally couch, you are mine, I thought to myself. I poured myself a glass of wine, doled out some Doritos Cool Ranch chips in a bowl (well, I wish I was that civilized – I actually grabbed the whole bag) and plunked myself on the couch and readied myself for a PVR’d episode of Trailer Park Boys. That’s when the retching began. From Grace’s room came the most god awful, “exorcize this demon from my body “ sound. It was my darling girl throwing up everything she has eaten in her entire life. Now, for you seasoned parents, you may think this is no big deal, for me, it was freak out time. For Grace, it was freak out time. You see, in all of Grace’s almost 5 years, she has never, not once, thrown up. She was terrified about what was going on with her body (and I don’t blame her, it didn’t look or smell pretty!) She must have puked on every single item on her bed - this includes a family of stuffed animals, each equally important roles. This includes my bean bag that I heat up in the microwave for my achey muscles (grrrr). This includes her sheets, her duvet, her pillow, her mattress, her pyjamas, her hair, her slippers, the clothes I laid out for her to wear today and a library book. My god, have you ever been so overwhelmed you just don’t know where to begin? In the end, every thing was okay and Grace got over the trauma. Our family now has an “official” barf bowl (did your family have one of these when you were growing up?) and Grace is sort of proud of being in the Barf Club. I could hear her telling her friends about it at school this morning.

All I can say is thank God for Febreeze. Would it be wrong to snort it? I can’t seem to get the smell out of my nose.

This is the story of the Barbapappas…..

Do you remember this show? I didn’t have cable as a kid and I had two significantly older siblings who monopolized the T.V. with “boring” fare. Therefore any T.V. time I did have I absolutely cherished. Shows that stand out in my memory are: G-Force, Simon and the Land of Chalk Drawings, Read-Along, Sesame Street (duh), Smurfs, Barbapappas and The Wondeful World of Disney on Sunday nights (“Mom, can I please be excused to go watch Disney!?). I watched these shows on a tiny little television that you had to (gasp) stand up to change the channel. Okay. I sound like an old fuddy duddy, right? (Back in my day….)

I know history repeats itself, and it makes me laugh to think about what Grace and Edie are going to tell their children one day. Are they going impress their youngsters with stories of their hardships during their youth? I can just imagine Grace saying “You have it so good. When I was growing up, we only five channels dedicated to kids shows, and we had to watch it on a 50” plasma!” Or Edie complaining “Huh, back in my day, the potty training seats only played one song when we tinkled….”

Visions of greatness…

Grace got a stripe last week at karate. Grace got ANOTHER strip this past Friday at karate. This is unheard of. This is exceptional. Children just do not get stripes two classes back to back. Grace is above average, she will be a champion black belt and break records. Okay, okay, I am prone to exaggeration, but I am very proud of her, she is doing so well in her classes. Even Edie has joined in the fun, demanding to wear Grace’s old belt wrapped around her tummy a zillion times and raising her arms in a karate pose. Love it.

This weekend found us dong the following:

Saturday Jo and I roped in the ‘rentals to babysit in the afternoon so we could go shopping….fun!

Saturday night we had dinner with two super-fun couples….lots of belly laughs (who knew trading post-partum depression stories could be so funny!) Edie quickly put a halt on all fun being had – the babysitter called all panicky because Edie was beside herself crying Mommy Mommy over and over again. When we got home, Edie, indignantly planted herself in our bed (how dare we go out, tsk tsk).

Sunday was mellow. Jo took Grace swimming, I napped with Edie (30lb hot water bottle). Jo had some football friends over (something about an important game – this decides who goes to the SuperBowl bleah bleah bleah). I snuck out with a friend to go see Children of Men. I don’t have the words or time to describe this film right now. I did like it though, a lot.

Gotta love swimming. The house was quiet at exactly 8:15. It got loud again at 1:30 a.m. with Edie crying (screaming?) I’ll save that story for another time.

I’ve been slacking big time, sorry to those of you who check in regularly. What happened to me? I think Christmas and New Years just exhausted me – we had fun, lots of fun, but I burned out. I think I’m back in the game now.

Edie was supposed to have her operation today, but lo and behold, she woke up with the snottiest nose EVER on Friday, and the cold has been working its way down to her chest ever since. She spent the night (quite righteously) between Jonas and me. How can a 23 month old make a king sized bed feel like a twin? She managed to send Jo and me both to our respective corners while she ensured comfort for herself. Anyhoooo, the docs won’t touch her with any kind of illness, so the operation is called of for now. I’m a little relieved, I’m not in a hurry to get it done, I know it has to be done, but the delay buys me a little more time to deal with it.

I took Grace and her friend to feed the ducks on Saturday. We all had a little lesson in compassion and how Mother Nature can be a bitch. There was a duck the girls quickly named “Broken Beak” as half of his top beak was broken off. This duck was in rough shape, every time he managed to get some bread we were feeding the ducks, another duck would come along and grab in out of his mouth before he could swallow in (meanies!) The girls proclaimed this as being “NOT FAIR!” and managed to scare away the other ducks and focus on just feeding Broken Beak. I was proud of them. They also want to go back next week and feed Broken Beak again…..I’ll bring them, but Mother Nature might take care of Broken Beak in her own way….try explaining that to a couple of almost 5 year olds in love with a duck.

If anyone knows what “VEEE! VEEEEE!” means, please let me know. Edie is trying to communicate something of obvious importance to us, and we just aren’t getting it. It’s like she has the answer to the meaning of life, but a cruel joke is stopping her from telling us about it.

I was very social last week. Check it out:

-Wednesday, went out with a girlfriend for coffee and a movie (we saw Rocky Balboa…so fricking good)

-Friday night, went out with two girl friends for a movie and drinks (saw Pursuit of Happyness, it was okay. Willl Smith is cheesy though).

-Saturday night, my folks came over to look after the girls while Jo and I went our for dinner with good friends of ours. This was super-fun. One thing I don’t get though. My dinner sucked, I only ate an eighth of it, I told the waitress it sucked, she looked concerned and said she would see what she could do. When the bill came, she said she didn’t charge me for dessert. Huh? I liked the dessert. It was the main course I had issues with. Weird.

Okay. I feel unloaded now.

To sleep, perchance to dream…..

Poor Grace is suddenly terrified of her own shadow (literally). She cannot go anywhere in our house alone (even if it to her own room to get a toy); going to bed is quite stressful for her, and she has consistently been up between 1:30 and 2:30 in the morning all freaked out about something. At this point, I try to coax her back to sleep, but more often than not I shake a sleepy Jonas and send him in to lie down with her. It’s a tough phase, and I can totally sympathize. I’m not the best sleeper myself, often waking in the middle of the night with racing thoughts, but it is so frustrating when I have settled in zzzzzzzzzzzzzz land and am then jolted awake by Grace’s little cries for help. I know it is just a phase, but I am so freaking tired.
While I’m at it, I might as well continue complaining. I am now sick for what I think is the fourth time in 2 months – sore throat, achey muscles, tired/tired/tired and sniffles. What is going on? When God was handing out immune systems, did he forget to give me one? I forget how it feels to be rested and healthy.
Okay, okay. Something positive. Today I am wearing my new skirt from the Gap (scored for $12.99) and my rocking Bad Luck cardigan that Jonas bought me for Xmas . At least I look like a bad ass in my pitiful state (maybe it will distract from the bags under my eyes).