At least Edie thinks I'm good at something.....
Edie cried in frustration the other day complaining that she wasn't "any
good at anything!" She was in the process of trying to draw high heels on
the princess she just drew, and, well, let's just say the shoes would
satisfy any fetishist with a thing for stilettos. These shoes were bad
ass, but completely inappropriate for a princess (shout out to you Kate
Middleton, congrats on the engagement!)
I cooed and hugged the tears away, and taught her how to draw real princess
shoes - my signature ovals on their side with a line on the back of each of
them. Very smart looking. Edie looked up at me with her big blue eyes, a
solitary tear on the cusp of dropping from her eyelash and told me that I
am the bestest Mommy ever and good at everything I do. I thanked her
graciously, accepting the compliment, but it got me thinking, and the
thinking got me a little depressed. I'm actually not really good at
anything. I'm kinda average at a lot of stuff. I dabble in arts and
crafts, I'm okay at my job, I'm a pretty good Mom (but I get cases of the
yellsitis on occasion) and my next endeavour, to learn how to play bass
guitar (thanks to HellaStella) will likely prove to be another less than
stand out effort. I'm not trying to feel sorry for myself, I just haven't
had that a-ha moment yet dictating what I am great at.
I am good at appreciating other people's amazingness. I have an ear for
music, an eye for art work (and I do consider fashion to be art), and a
great understanding of literature. And I'm good at re-arranging furniture.
Poor Jo will stumble in after hours and bruise his shin on the ottoman that
I just had to move at eleven o'clock at night. But I don't want my
tombstone to read "Good at re-arranging furniture and pretty average at
other stuff".
It makes me a little sad, the older I get, because I know with training,
education and experience I very likely could have been a great at a few different
things that I'm truly passionate about, but I really feel like it is too
late to pursue because a) I'm getting older and b) financially, I just
don't have the luxury of quitting my job to focus on a new career.
Kind of a debbie downer of a post, but this is what is on my mind today.
4 comments:
You know, there's a lot to be said about being pretty good at a lot of things, as opposed to outstanding at one thing. It makes you a well-rounded, versatile and interesting person.
Besides, you're a damned good writer and you can draw princess shoes.
You are not alone Meanie! I have been feeling the exact same way lately. Surely we are too young to be having a mid-life crisis????
I agree with Zoom - you should have 'really good writer' on that list! And being good at many things makes you well rounded and interesting too. I also suspect if your husband or close friends compiled a list of things you are good at, it would be a mile long. I think we are hardest on ourselves, aren't we? Keep up the great writing Meanie :)
I feel like I could have written this post (except that I have no eye for fashion). I feel like I'm okay at many different things -- too many things! -- but not great at anything. I need to focus my life and figure out what the hell I want to be when I grow up.
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