Tuesday, June 22, 2010

A few reasons why summer colds suck by Beamie (that’s how you say Meanie with a cold)

-No one really believes you can be sick when it is so beautiful outside. Especially the 8-and-under-crowd who just want you to run and play tag with them.

-The pool is finally open, my husband has worked his ass off cleaning it, wrapping himself, the children and random neighbourhood animals in tinfoil to attract rays of sunshine, forcing them to bob in the pool in order to heat it up to an agreeable temperature for me and I don’t want to go in because I have the Sicks.*

-Everyone says it must be allergies. I have intimate knowledge of my body people. I know the difference between an allergy sneeze (achew!-achew!) and a cold sneeze (ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-fuck-meeeeeee-chooooo-that-hurt!)

-The four walls between I which I work has woman going through menopausal hot flashes draped in fur coats, who refuses to take off her fur coats, controlling the air conditioner and insists on keeping the temperature at sub-arctic temperatures so she can remain draped in her furs and not break a sweat.**

-Going home sick in the summer sucks. It is so much better being sick on the couch in the winter, wrapped in blankets, watching Pretty in Pink for the bazillionth time while fat snowflakes fall from the sky. It’s nice and cosy and comforting. It just feels depressing when it is beautiful outside and you can’t see your t.v. due to the glare of the sun and because your windows are open you can hear people laughing outside having un-sick fun.

-ough cough. That’s why summer colds suck. Sniff.

*Jo didn’t really do this but I like the visual
**Actually, a guy named Dave controls our temperature but he just ignores my calls pleading with him to turn down (or up?) the AC so I am forced to create an unsavoury character for him. That’s what happens when you cross me.


Rob said...

I feel your pain. I had a near wekk long cold and just got over it last weekend. You are right, sick days when it's nice outside really do suck!!!!!


Nat said...

I am trying to convince myself that the sore throat and exhaustion this week are allergies... but the hot flashes are giving me away.

Hope you feel better and get to enjoy summer soon.

Pauline said...

Awww, that sucks! Get better soon! Drink some echinacea tea, it always helps me!:)

Anonymous said...

Poor you. I think when you have a summer cold, you're allowed to sit in a hammock in the back yard and sip lemonade and read trashy novels.

Laura said...

Summer colds are just crappy. I've heard there are some bad bugs going around. I hope you feel better soon. :)

The Maven said...

Oh, this is sad. Sad, sad, sad, Meanie. Funny as hell (particularly the tinfoil part), but sad. I hope you're feeling a lot better!