Thursday, October 11, 2007

Okay. I’m putting it out there. I don’t like my 5.5 year old. I love her, but I just don’t like her right now. She is the opposite of everything I like about people. I feel like I am constantly fighting with her. I want to raise our girls well, with an emphasis on kindness, consideration and empathy. Grace is managing to make me feel like a complete failure by being unkind, inconsiderate and completely lacking in empathy. I am shocked and embarrassed when a doting grandparent requests a hug and she denies them. I want to crawl under a rock when someone pays her a compliment and rudely responds. I won’t even say what I want to do when she sasses back at me or laughs at me when trying to discipline her . I know I shouldn’t let it get to me as much as it does, and the more I react the worse it gets, but it’s just so hard to not sink to her 5 year old level .
So what are we going to do about this? The poor girl doesn’t know that I used to watch Dr. Phil faithfully when on my last maternity leave. Grace doesn’t know that I am fully ammo’d with Phil’s parenting solutions. Girlfriends’ goin’ down…..

Please, faithful readers (all two of you), is this normal behaviour for a 5.5 year old? Does it pass? Does the milk of human kindness ever infuse their little souls?

7 comments:

byrumnews said...

I am having the same issues with my 6 year old. Sometime I think she is a teenager stuck in a little girls body from the attitude I get. I can only hope it gets better. I too am armed with all the information to take care of this issue, but sometimes it seems that nothing works. We used to take away TV priviledges, but now that doesn't seem to have an affect...it seems every trick we try she adapts to. I love my child...but like you sometime I don't LIKE her very much. Stay strong

Blake said...

Did you ever think it might be her grandparents' fault???

Don't invite them over anymore!

LOL

Rick said...

Yes it is normal and yes they do change - about when they turn 24. Our oldest daughter kept us on our knees from the time she was 2. Visits to her teachers and principles' office - sneaking out at night - really fun stuff. But a day came when she finally realized that we weren't so bad. Now she calls home often and tells us how much she loves and appreciates us.

Never, never, never give up and always, always, always make sure she knows that you L-O-V-E her. She'll act like she doesn't want to hear it, but she will be listening.

Hang in there.

Rick

http://organizeddoodles.blogspot.com/

Melissa said...

I suffer right along with you. My 5.5 year old constantly pushes the envelope. I find myself opening my mouth to discipline her and out comes my mothers voice. How does that happen?
From what I hear 10 is supposed to be a good age. For those of you with a 10 year old, please don't burst my bubble!!

alison said...

Leah didn't give me many problems. Rae, on the other hand, sounds much like your 5.5 yr old. Rae will be 5 on Thursday. I'm hoping it passes. I have much empathy with you, but not much in the way of solutions.

Alissa said...

I posted this a few months back:

http://alissasanderson.wordpress.com/2007/07/05/a-confession/

I totally feel your pain. I can tell you that since I put it out there and heard such encouraging things from the folks in the blogging world, I feel so much better. And I see things in a slightly different light. And, I have hope :-)

Hang in there...

BC said...

Don't let it get to you but don't give up. The hug on request is tough since you want your child to be able to set a boundary. Gently correct her to say "Thank you" to a compliment and wait until she does.

That sounds easy but set yourself up for success by creating the situation first. Enlist an understanding friend or relative to help. Let your friend praise your daughter for being so polite when she does say thank you.

Children sass their own parents more than others. Don't give up!