Friday, March 18, 2011

Mini Van Break In!

So last night I forgot to lock up my van and didn't put it in the garage, leaving it in the driveway instead. This morning when I was loading up the kids, I stepped back because something was amiss - the van had been turned upside down. Now, it did take a second for this to register because the van is usually something of a Petri dish at the best of times.

Once I realized what had happened, I didn't know whether to laugh or be really embarrassed. Here is a small inventory of what was strewn all over my beast on wheels:

1) Autobiography of Ozzy Osborne on CD;

2) Unauthorized biography of Angelina Jolie on CD;

3) Biography of Belinda Carlisle on CD (dramatically titled "My Lips - Unsealed);

4) David Sedaris' "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim" (redeemed!);

5) Rejected Shamrock Shakes (I was convinced they would love them, but they are pretty disgusting);

6) Baggies of portioned out roasted soy beans (emergency snack);

7) Box of books on their way to the good will store, including "Bible Stories for Beginners" (pretty sure the spine wasn't even cracked on that one) and a series of very sparkly "Rainbow Magic Fairy" chapter books" (Grace might or might not have used these to wipe her boots with. Not much interest in all things that sparkle and shine with that girl);

8) Stock piled "art" and "treasures" that Edie made me promise I would bring to work and decorate my cubicle with (had to hide that from her pretty fast!);

9) Hard as rock bagel remains;

10) Ariel hair ties that are a pain to fasten so I hid them from Edie in one of the consoles. At least she is happy the petty thefts found them;

11) A DS, which I'm sure they didn't steal because it has been attacked numerous times by a bedazzler. No true tough guy/girl could be caught dead with this electronic device;

12) Various game cartridges for Edie's Leapster with names such as "Princess Party" and "Let's Get Puzzled!" (what, no demand for those at the local pawn shop?);

13) and finally pennies. Lots and lots of pennies. Like a jackpot of pennies. I hate pennies so much, I remove them from my wallet regularly and put them in my coffee cup holder until I get around to rolling them for the kids (I would love to throw them in garbage but Jo said that act is illegal);

I bet my van is the worst car that they ever broke in to. As far as I can tell, absolutely NOTHING was taken.


Mis(s)Mannered Mom said...

While I'm sad your van got broken into....that's HILARIOUS. What would "criminals" EXPECT to find in a MINI VAN. Heck, your mini van is FAR COOLER than the typical! My car has playdough, McD's toys, Dollarama jewellery...and grocery bags. Maybe an extra emergency tampon in the glovebox. LOL THEM'S slim pickin's!
When we lived in North Bay-NO ONE locks their cars or even houses most of the time. Heck, they even leave their keys IN the vans. They used to laugh at me for always locking up. I had to tell them I was from the "big city." LOL

Anonymous said...

When I lived in Vancouver, peoples' cars would get broken into all the time but rarely anything was taken... Sometimes they just wanted to get out of the rain and take a snooze.
Thank goodness nothing was taken or damaged.
- Your friendly neighbourhood curator.

DaniGirl said...

Yanno, I have been meaning to write a blog post for a while about how I once vowed that my car would *never* be the dumping ground for snacks and waylaid McDonalds toys that it currently is. For three months, I have been wondering, "What the hell is that SMELL?" Kind of like stale farts, but no matter how long I drove around with the windows open, it never disappated.

Last week, I was searching for a lost Silly Banz (not mine) and found a Walmart bag wtih a pair of track pants in it that survived a diaper blow-out at my parents' place one night. Instead of bringing them home to wash them, they decided to live under the driver's seat for three months. Glurk!

(The bedazzled DS is still making me snicker.)

zoom said...

I love this post! And I love Dani's 3-month-old diaper blowout too.

Laura said...

Sorry to hear your van was invaded. :( I wonder if you would consider lending your bedazzler & Belinda Carlisle biography? (!) Great post.