Mini Van Break In!
So last night I forgot to lock up my van and didn't put it in the garage, leaving it in the driveway instead. This morning when I was loading up the kids, I stepped back because something was amiss - the van had been turned upside down. Now, it did take a second for this to register because the van is usually something of a Petri dish at the best of times.
Once I realized what had happened, I didn't know whether to laugh or be really embarrassed. Here is a small inventory of what was strewn all over my beast on wheels:
1) Autobiography of Ozzy Osborne on CD;
2) Unauthorized biography of Angelina Jolie on CD;
3) Biography of Belinda Carlisle on CD (dramatically titled "My Lips - Unsealed);
4) David Sedaris' "Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim" (redeemed!);
5) Rejected Shamrock Shakes (I was convinced they would love them, but they are pretty disgusting);
6) Baggies of portioned out roasted soy beans (emergency snack);
7) Box of books on their way to the good will store, including "Bible Stories for Beginners" (pretty sure the spine wasn't even cracked on that one) and a series of very sparkly "Rainbow Magic Fairy" chapter books" (Grace might or might not have used these to wipe her boots with. Not much interest in all things that sparkle and shine with that girl);
8) Stock piled "art" and "treasures" that Edie made me promise I would bring to work and decorate my cubicle with (had to hide that from her pretty fast!);
9) Hard as rock bagel remains;
10) Ariel hair ties that are a pain to fasten so I hid them from Edie in one of the consoles. At least she is happy the petty thefts found them;
11) A DS, which I'm sure they didn't steal because it has been attacked numerous times by a bedazzler. No true tough guy/girl could be caught dead with this electronic device;
12) Various game cartridges for Edie's Leapster with names such as "Princess Party" and "Let's Get Puzzled!" (what, no demand for those at the local pawn shop?);
13) and finally pennies. Lots and lots of pennies. Like a jackpot of pennies. I hate pennies so much, I remove them from my wallet regularly and put them in my coffee cup holder until I get around to rolling them for the kids (I would love to throw them in garbage but Jo said that act is illegal);
I bet my van is the worst car that they ever broke in to. As far as I can tell, absolutely NOTHING was taken.