Quickly, before my arm siezes:

1) Last night Jo and I were conversing at the dinner table, ignoring the girls to best of our ability until we heard Grace say to Edie: Hey, it's like soft porn! SCREEECH! What was that? Turns out she was eating a croissant like corn on the cob and actually said Hey, it's like soft cornas in corn on the cob. What a relief, I haven't gotten to that chapter in the parents manual yet.

2) I was called home on Thursday to pick up a teary Edie (they actually put her on the phone so I could hear how pathetic she sounded - emotional blackmail). Apparently she just wasn't herself and the school thought I should come an get her. The real story? She had punched herself by accident when trying to unjam a rogue zipper and this upset her terribly (the confession came bedtime when I coudn't figure out what the hell was wrong with her. It was only after she had been given jello, medicine, 1/2 a Tums and an extra book and extra snuggle to make her feel better that she enlightened me).

3) The girls' fighting reached a new low this weekend when they were stacking pudding containers into various shapes and fighting over who's turn it was/who did a better job etc etc. I looked at the Wii, the My Little Pony Crystal Castle and Lego sets and cried a little.