Random:

My amazing husband re-did our basement bathroom (think wood panelling, a shower from the movie Seven and a floor you'd want to wear bio-hazard boots to walk on) for about $25. He's amazing. He did it all with 2 cans of spray paint, a container of paint sealer and some left over white paint we had. I will post pictures. We were going to gut this bathroom and do a full reno, then got to thinking that is used so little, why not just clean it and do a little aesthetic makeover? It worked! Yippee!

Edie's birthday went off without a hitch. I had plenty of activities planned, but in the end realized that 4 year olds, without their parents, just want to roam, explore and play with someone else's toys. I was a little disappointed that I couldn't put on the puppet show I had been practicing. It was going to be my first gig since getting the puppet theatre.

Played Rock Band on Saturday night, and i think I have a repetitive strain injury from playing bass with a little too much enthusiasm. Oh, and for the most boring rock star experience, pick up the bass for Beastie Boys Watcha Want.....yawn....

Took Edie swimming on Sunday, caught glimpse of self in mirror, thought I was on acid because it looked like my leg, specifically thighs, were melting. What's that contraption that Chrissy from Three's Company was always swearing by? I think I need one of those.

Jo quit his job a few weeks back. The day he handed in his notice he started coming home at 5:00 p.m. I cannot begin to tell you what a positive impact this has had on our family. Relaxed mealtimes all together, homework harmony, time to play, talk, etc etc. If anyone ever questioned work/life balance, it's so worth fighting for. Also, when I switched jobs my Blackberry went with it. Jo will also be ditching his Blackberry as of Friday. No more flashing lights distracting us after work hours.

And now I'm about to give away the best beauty secret here. Because I was looking as so dry and shrivelled up, and was worried that XUP might start hating on me because I was ageing, I decided to change up my beauty routine. Ponds Cold Cream. Honestly. Glowing. Dewy. Moisturized. All that for 11 bucks.

This particulary chipper post is brought to you from a Venti Bold from Starbucks.

Sigh. The bloom is off the rose, as they say.

The birthday celebrations were fun for all (though how 7 adults ended up slightly hungover after a 4 and 7 year birthday party is beyond me) and now I find myself dealing with WHY.

The 4 year old, though wide eyed and cute, seems to be incorporating the word "why" into her breathing pattern. Breathe in, why out. Seriously. I know I should encourage her charming curiosity, but I don't fucking know why she likes straws, that's for her to answer, not me. I don't know why she painted the picture blue, again, that was her decision to make, not mine. Why is she asking me these questions and not turning inward for the answers? I do remember this phase with Grace, though Grace tended to ask why about things she could not control, like the colour of the sky, the wierd gelatin in diapers after they've reached maximum absorption, that kind of stuff. Genuine curio.

Speaking of Grace, she is not beyond asking why, however, her why questions have a new spin to them. They include a hand on one hip, the other hip jutted out, and I think I detect a slight sneer when she asks the question and they usually come after I've asked her to do something terribly taxing like putting her socks in the dirty laundry hamper.

Why am I out of pinot noir??????

It's not the first time....

Someone asked me about what my girls names are. I told this person Grace and Edie. This person asked if Edie was named after Idi Amin. Yes, Jonas and I greatly admire the brutal Ugandan dictator, and wanted to forever commemorate him by naming our daughter after him. Gawd. People have also asked if she is named after Edie on Desperate Housewives. Now, I have never watched this show, but from what I understand, the character Edie is a slutty little thing, so no, we did not name our daughter after a pop culture figure who will fizzle out shortly, forever forgotten. Actually, I first heard the name Edie from Andy Warhol's Factory days. While I wouldn't say we named Edie after her, (she was a socialite, drug addicted, and likely died of suicide) I can safely say she inspired the name. And tragic life aside, she was kind of a cool cat.

So, not:




and not:





sort of:



But one day, I bet kids will be named after our fab little Edie.




Happy 4th birthday Edie Bikini!

7 years old!?

If Grace is having a particularly rancourous day (is that a word? It should be if it isn't), I try to take her outside in the early evening and run her a little bit, in an effort to burst some of those little of atoms of energy bouncing around her body. When I took her out last Saturday for "the Walk", she didn't go charging out of the starter gate. Instead, at the base of our driveway, she reached for my hand. And so we walked. And we talked. She told me about the 4th grader who sometimes breaks the fort that her and her friend Katrina work so hard make. She asked me about the degree of severity of swear words, from worse to not so bad (I hid my smile when she informed me that the D word is "Dumb"). She told me that she wants to grow her bangs out. She told me that she doesn't really like TreeHouse anymore, the shows are too babyish and she now likes Zach and Cody, Suite Life and Hannah Montana. She also expressed concern that this will cause problems, because her sister is still very much into "baby"' shows like Max and Ruby. She told me that when she grows up she would like to be a spy, or a swimmer. She's not too sure yet.

I can't really remember what all else we talked about, but I do remember my eyes welling up on that walk, thinking about this precious, wonderful kid I have been given. Amazed that she is turning seven, and getting so mature. Remembering feeling like just a kid myself when we brought her home from the hospital, wondering what I was supposed to do with her. And then remembering when my instinct kicked in and walking the hallway with her, singing "This Little Light of Mine" to her over and over again until she would settle and fall asleep. Now, when we sing that song together, and part of me thinks that she too remembers those early bonding days. I hope we will always have that bond.

Happy Birthday my little light, shine on.

(sorry kiddo, Zac Efron hasn’t done a version of this song yet, but here are some pretty good alternatives)

My bum.

It feels weird lately. Like heavy and big. And low-slung. It doesn't feel like a part of me, I feel like I'm dragging around someone else's ass. Strange eh?

My clothes fit fine. I don't have one of those mirrors where I can see it, so I can no way of telling if it looks any different. It sounds the same when Jo smacks it when he walks by (endearing, right?)

I feel like someone attached a mom-bum to me when I was sleeping.

Weird.

Meanie Economics, 101 (short course, held over the months of January-February)

-Realize I am spending way too much on coffee (Starbucks every morning adds up). I decide I need a Bodum to make my own.

-When I decide I want something, it becomes a compulsion. I do no comparison shopping, I do no research, I simply seek and buy. (insert sympathetic sounds for Jonas here) In this case, I spend about $40 at the Bay for a 3 cup Bodum (whatevs, their idea of 3 cup is one mug-full for me).

-Must now purchase ground coffee. Purchase ground hazelnut cream flavoured coffee, can’t remember cost, but optimistically bought a big-ish bag, so let us estimate about $5.00

-So excited to try coffee the next morning. Doing research after I bought the Bodum, I have read exciting statements in Bodum reviews that this is the best way to drink your coffee. Yippee! I’m going to be in da club!

-Next morning on the way to work (during the strike) walk by several Starbuck establishments and mentally thumb my nose at them. I’m going to have the best coffee ever this morning, tralalala.

-Get to office kitchen. Make coffee. Look cool and chic carrying my Bodum back to my office. Feeling very Euro and superior. I'm Audrey Toutou.

-Take first sip. Bleach! Tastes like shit! What did I do wrong???? Make another cup, add more coffee. Gross, still tastes like dishwater! I’m not chic! I’m not Euro! I’m Courtney Love! Caffeine withdrawal headache kicking in now. Knowing that I have a very short timeline between no caffeine and full-on lunacy, I humbly present my spare change to the closest barrista.

So, I have been staring at the Bodum on my desk for over month now, and am again on a first name basis with everyone at my ‘Bucks. I need to make my investment work for me before the barristas talk me into upgrading to a Venti instead my usual Grande every morning. Your homework is to pass on any Bodum success stories. It is the original French Press Bodum. It’s too pretty and sophisticated looking to go to waste.

A reminder

When I went to bed Saturday, a little tipsy from my Valentine night out , consisting of beer and nacho's with Jo, I said outloud "I am going to be Super-Mom tomorrow". I had such a crappy day with girls on Saturday, full of nagging, raised voices anad a few time-outs for good measure. At the end of the day, being given a moment to think about things without all the background noise, I realized that I hadn't been entirely fair to them. Their idea of a good time is not going to the Home Depot to look at paint colours (though Grace does have an obsession with the toilets on display). Their idea of a good time is not helping me organize my vinyl collection (and I am deeply offended when they giggle at Billy Idol's "funny" hair cut). Their idea of a good time is not trying to figure out why the beater bar on the vacuum isn't working. Their idea of a good time is playing games of hide and go seek, recruiting their parents of any kind of game and going outside for aimless walks, shits and giggles. I didn't do much to make sure they were having fun on Saturday. And I became frustrated when they kept interfering with what I wanted to do.

And so, Sunday was a new day, and here's how it went down:

-Three slow cooker meals prepared for the coming week - with little hands helping, it made things go a little more slowly, but they were engaged.
-Front hall closet and back closet cleaned out, with little feet playing a game of try on all the shoes (and Meanie has a hell of a lot of shoes....)
-Going outside, cleaning out the garage, girls discovering their bikes, and why the hell not? Doesn't have to be summer to ride a bike, and those frozen windrows make a pretty cool jump!
-Jonas painted the basement bathroom. We never go downstairs, but yesterday we did because he was there, and the girls re-discovered what was intended to be the play area of the house and all the old toys I routinely throw down there when I can't figure what else to do with them

And, to add to my mother of the year skills, the girls even ate what I made for dinner last night.....crispy breaded tofu nuggets.....and they liked it! So did Jo!

As I curled up on the couch at 8:30 last night, with a glass of red in one hand, my book in other, I reminded myself gently that they aren't going to worship me forever, and I can likely alphabetize my vinyl collection down the road.

*************************************************************************************
Are there any interior design-type readers of this blog? We are re-doing our basement and I have no eye for paint colours/carpets. It is a big space, and the intention is for it to be a space for the kids to play and for Jo to host poker nights. I want it to be welcoming enough for me to enjoy going down there as well (I have an aversion to sub-terrain living, so it has to aesthetically pleasing). We are carpeting, and because the kids and poker people are likely to spill, I want to go with a darker carpet. My question is - what is a good colour for the walls? The carpet will likely be a dark brown with lighter flecks in it. There is one tiny window, but poorly placed, so there is little to no natural light coming in. Any suggestions are most welcome.

Apparently Mother Nature thought I would be more comfortable in Florida if I could see my breath – y’know, to make me feel right at home. I tried hard to hide my disappointment when the following occurred:

-I saw my breath because it was so freaking cold
-There were flags on the beach alerting us to dangerous marine life (read: sharks!) Apparently the sharks were all in a frenzy because it’s mating time, and they were coming closer to shore because it was so cold, and they too like to get it on with a reasonable temperature. Oh, and when sharks get horny, apparently they get all excited an snap at anything they can get their jaws on.
-There were flags on the beach alerting us to a dangerous undertow, which just fed my paranoia, due to a recurring dream, of Edie being swept out to sea with me helplessly swimming to save her but getting nowhere (*shiver*)
-The blue blobs peppering the beach. Stupid jellyfish couldn’t get it together enough to stay IN the ocean and instead were being swept ashore at an alarming rate. (I think it’s okay to call them stupid, right? I’m not hurting feelings, I’m pretty sure that jellyfish literally do not have brains)
-A father-in-law who apparently found a channel on TV that plays Nancy Grace 24/7

What made my disappointment subside:

-Fresh fish
-Squeals of joy from the girls when it did get warm enough to jump in the waves (with me hovering to swat away any horny sharks)
-Having Edie, Grace AND Jonas constantly asking me to check out the cool seashells that they found
-An awesome awesome 12 hour day at Disney, during which time the kids were just amazing, and did not ask for one thing when we were there (except to go on rides). While kids were melting down left right and centre of us, our little angels kept their cool and didn’t resort to this kind of behavior for a mere trinket (they are more inclined to save that kind of behavior for something much more important, like candy). Grace even went on Space Mountain twice, once with me and once with Jo. That’s hardcore.
-Hearing Edie say “My tummy feels hungry!” at the top of another rollercoaster, knowing that she is feeling butterflies instead.
-Sending Grace for a run around on the beach, having her eye me suspiciously and ask “Is this a trick to tire me out?”
-$7, $15, and $25 shoes purchased at the outlets (my own little effort for the economic stimulus).
-Warmer weather our last days there – I was tickled to get a sunburn.
-Target.
-Movies on Air Canada. I watched the Duchess and the girls watched Treehouse.

I’m back, I’m refreshed. Tralalalala.

Does anyone know anything about Tartrazine? I’ve been reading more and more about it, and from I gather, Canadian products do not have to list it in it’s ingredients listing – it merely has to list it as “colour”. Reading about the ill effects it has on so many people, particularly children, has had me thinking. And documenting. And I have noticed a change in Gracie’s behaviour after consuming products that have this suspicious “colour” ingredient. I had originally banned MSG from the household because girlfriend was literally hallucinating and had a racy heart after consuming the stuff, but know I’m wondering if it is maybe Tartrazine to blame. I too have a history of anxiety, headaches etc. I find it all very suspect. Any info anyone has on this would be appreciated.

Uh, that was a boring post. Sorry about that. I’m am on vacation as of tomorrow, hopefully I’ll return to my charming, witty self upon my return! Until then:

Nothing.

*crickets*

I have absolutely nothing to say. Nothing exciting happened in my life this week. That sucks.

I did watch The Notebook today and while my girlie friends told me it was good, they didn't tell me that I would be reduced to tears, sobbing, literally sobbing at the end.

I did decide against getting a spray tan, in preparation for the Florida trip next week. I'd rather be ghost-like than orange like. And Jonas kinda laughed at me when I mentioned I might go get sprayed.

I did found my favourite lipstick in the pocket of pants I never wear....yaaaaaay

I did find a super awesome new cleaning lady who makes feel ashamed because she has 3kids under 6, goes to school part-time and runs a cleaning company. Some people just have so much energy.

I told a totally nnappropriate joke at work the other that my peeps from old job would have been in stitches over, but my new peeps just all sorta looked uncomfortable and weird (c'mon, poo and priests can be funny people!)

See? Crickets.

“are you the same Meanie McMeanie who went out of her way to make my high school years miserable”?

This, folks, is the message I had in my Facebook inbox yesterday. Yes, I recall the sender, but I don’t remember being mean to her. My stomach dropped when I read this. My gut reaction was to feel guilty (that seems to be my default reaction to everything for some reason). But then I started to talk to Jo about this, and work it out in my head. It just doesn’t sit well with me. I sort of see myself as the one who didn’t have the greatest time as a pre-adolescent. I am certainly not innocent of being mean to others, but the whole “mean girl” thing was sort of cyclical at that age – one week you’d be popular, the next week not so much. By the time I had hit high school, I was sort of damaged goods, but had found my circle of friends. It’s safe to say these friends were on the fringe of the social scene, but while I remember lots of inner turmoil, I have really fond memories of these friends. I certainly don’t recall making anyone’s life a living hell.

The message from this girl disturbs me on a few levels:

1) That all these years she has been living with this perception of me making her life hell and obviously being bothered enough by it that she is contacting me almost 25 years after the fact.
2) That, if perchance I was mean to her, I have no recollection of it. That really does bother me. I have 12 stepped, I know all about making amends, and this gal just doesn’t register with me as someone who I need to apologize to.
3) That this guy would have a similar reaction as my reaction to this girl if I ever contacted him about being mean to me.

I sent a message back to her, simply stating that I do indeed remember her, but don’t remember what she is accusing me of. I’m open to discussing it with her, I’m actually kind of curious to hear what she says.

What would you do? What would your reaction be?

We're booked! We're gonna do it all over again in just a weeks time......

Say whaaaaa???

Dropped Grace off today at a BD party at that wonderful place called Midway (think Las Vegas for the 7 and under crowd). I had Edie in tow, planning on dragging her around shopping with me to kill time whilst (can I use that word, "whilst" here?)Gracie whooped it up at the casino d'enfants. Anyhoooo, there was extra room at the party and the super-nice hostess-Mom invited Edie to join in on the fun. Well, didn't Miss Thing just rip off her leopard skin hat and glove ensemble and get down to business. I thought Grace might be disappointed, y'know, because this was her scene, NOT a scene for little sisters. I was a little apprehensive leaving, but then realized I had just been handed a golden ticket, granting me two hours of time to spend with my favourite person, me.

Three bathing suits, a latte and some fruity body lotion later, I returned to pick the girls. The Mom greeted me and asked what I was doing right. Huh? I never do anything right, what was she talking about? Turns out Grace polished her halo and became sister of the year. She didn't leave Edie's side the whole time, from taking her on the bumper cars, following her through the climbing area, encouraging her to eat her lunch and then, of course, teaching her the ins and outs of the slot machines (I'm pretty sure they have cameras there that follow Grace around when she goes there, girlfriend always turns a token into a small plush animal). I can't tell you how great his made me feel. Grace sort of treats Edie the way I image Mariah Carey might treat her personal assistant - bossy, tyrant-like and sometimes just plain mean. To hear this real world story of sisterly love made me feel like yeah, maybe I do do a pinch of something right, sometimes.

Tralalalala.

Advice!

In short, Jo had an argument with Grace this morning. Over a hairbrush. Grace couldn’t find hers, Jo gave her some options, and Grace replied “Fine, I’ll use Edie’s damn hairbrush”. Jo gave her a consequence for swearing, Grace replied that it wasn’t fair he got to say Damn and she couldn’t, and, well, *crickets*. I have no answer for this six year old logic.

I know, I know, the writing is on the wall for us, the adults, to clean up our language a bit. However, I need a band-aid until we do tidy up our language. Swearing to me is sort like there’s a time and a place for it, when used effectively, it can be quite appropriate (heh heh, I still love the f-word). However, I’m not sure our six year old, who has an answer for everything, will understand that. So, how do you explain that it’s okay for grown-ups to swear sometimes, but not kids?

Help, dammit!

ummm, just had a call from the doctor's office. Gracie has strep. I am getting this news more than 48 hours after having her at the clinic. I am to start a round of antibiotic asap.

Why couldn't this test have been done (taken from kids health website):

"If your child has a sore throat and other strep throat symptoms, call your doctor. The doctor will likely do a rapid strep test in the office, using a cotton swab to take a sample of the fluids at the back of the throat. The test only takes about 5 minutes."

Is this a test we don't have? I think it's awful that Grace has had to suffer longer than necesary when it could have been determined in 5 minutes. Does anyone know if this test is used in Ontario/Canada?

Jo and I have often thrown the idea around of getting out of dodge, moving out of town, just do something DIFFERENT to shake things up a bit. Boy oh boy though, during flu-times, sticking close to home seems like the best idea out there. Grace has been battling it since last Tuesday, and is off again today. I started a new job in the new year, and really can't take much time off to be with her. My house has seen a steady rotation of loving relatives, coming in to care for my little sickie. How lucky is that? If we were somewhere else, other than here, we would be up the creek without a paddle. Grateful.

I met the fantastic team of Chantal and Moira yesterday at hot yoga. I have been trying to meet Chantal for a long time now. I also just realized that I got into this blogging business because of her - her blog was the first one I ever read, on my first day back to work after my second maternity leave. I was like, huh? People write about their kids? Their family? Random bites from their life? I wanna do that too! And so, the blogging journey began. Bet you didn't know that, did you Chantal!
Chantal appears to be as awesome as I predicted. And she is tall. I was a little scared she might fall on me during tree pose. Tiiiimmmmmbbbbberrrrrr.....(kidding). We met detoxing our systems, I hope we can meet again and put some toxins back in our systems!

I've faced the beast head-on and she ain't pretty. I've fought her back with Tylenol, Advil, cold compresses, hot compresses, saltines, jello, and have even tried to cuddle it to death. Bitch. Keeps. Coming. Back. Gracie, my healthy, "gotta-run-her-before-bedtime" girl has been hit, and she's been hit hard by that bitch, Flu. For four days no, now school, no extracurricular activities and barely any food for this kid. Worrisome. I think people throw the word "flu" around a bit flippantly - a sniffle is not the flu, a cough and general malaise is not the flu. The flu is knock-you-down, heat you up, put a chill in your bones that violates your throat, head, lungs AND stomach. I hate seeing her like this.

Edie hopes she doesn't get it either. She said to me yesterday that she couldn't get sick, because where would all the kids go? I asked her what she meant and she said they wouldn't open the day care if she stayed home sick. LOVE the ego of a three year old!

Have a great weekend, bolt your doors, black out your windows. Flu is out there, looking for willing hosts......(oh, and if you don't hear from me for a week, you'll know Bitch got me too).

The best:

First Friday off with my new, 4-day a week job.
Finding a virgin hill to go tobogganing on with the whole family - not another soul in sight. We owned the hill. I love seeing the girls with healthy pink cheeks, bright eyes and sheer joy in their faces.
Clint Eastwood's new movie, Grand Torino. Run, don't walk. So good.
Hot yoga at Rama Lotus Centre, Sunday morning, 9-10:30. What a way to start the day. Sweat out all those nasty toxins and stretch out those tight muscles. Feels great.
A little one-on-one time with Edie the Bikini. We don't get much alone time together, so it was a delight to take her to Indigo, have coffee together (well, she had juice), and peruse the children's book shelves with her. Of course, she was dressed in full princess garb, crown and all, so all eyes were on her. She's so funny. I love how she, at three, can walk around, dressed head to toe in one of her many princess costumes and just own it.
Edie not liking the chocolate chip cookie I bought for us to share, so I got it all to myself.
Going swimming with Edie at the community pool. She's just getting over a little fear of the water and now loves to swim around, taking pride in being at arms length, rather than in my arms, when we swim.
Using the slow cooker, coming home to a warm meal, with no dishes, other than our dinner plates, to wash.
Everyone, including Jo, passing out at 8:30, leaving me, a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon, and the Golden Globes alone together.

And the worst:

OC Transpo. Honestly, you people who voted No suck. People are so stressed out right now with lay-offs and financial crisis', I really do find it selfish of you to be extending this strike even farther. With all due respect, I really question your judgement. You are making many people's lives very difficult. Case in point: When Jo was exiting his car near Landsdowne park on Thursday night, he heard a feeble little "Help!" It came from an elderly woman, with groceries in hand, having difficulty making it to her home. Turns out she was in her 4th hour of her gorcery commute. With this damn strike, she has to walk to the closest grocery store (Billings Bridge) and carry her items home. Because she has to walk, she can only buy a few things at a time. This means she has to do this trip often. She had to call out for help, to a total stranger, to help her home with her things. And, do you remember how cold it was Thursday night? It was damn cold. Probably as cold as the strike-supporters hearts.

A big glass of WTF???

Okay City of Ottawa, you were feeling all warm and fuzzy before Christmas during the strike and granted us all reprieve from paying metered parking. And I thank you for that. But what happened over the holidays? Did you not get the present you wanted? Did Mayor Larry not pay you enough attention over the holidays? Did Toronto say something to hurt your feelings? Are you pms-ing? What else could explain the sudden decision to take away metered parking (without warning, I might add) and start issuing tickets? Seriously. Imagine the bile in my throat when I walked to my car the other day and found a ticket, for $95, for stopping in a no stopping zone. There is no way this way a no stopping zone – there was no signage ANYWHERE to indicate that it was a no-stopping zone. I have been parking there for the past 4 weeks without any indication that I was doing anything wrong. Well, City, I took pictures, from every freaking angle. I’m not scared to fight for what is right. See you in parking violation court bitch.

(errr, if I’m wrong about the parking thing bloggers, please let me know. I’m feeling feisty right now, but I don’t want to don my white wig in court and embarrass myself)

I asked XUP to interview me. I was a little scared of what she was going to ask, but here it is, and I don't need therapy.
1) One day you're a hot rocker chick student having the time of your life and the next day you're a wife, mother and government employee. How the hell did that happen?
Hot rocker chick? You flatter me. I still don't know how it all came together. I met my husband at university (knowing he was "the one"), so the wifey part was cemented early on. As for government employee? I really wanted to be a librarian. I love everything about librarians - their knowledge, wisdom, and ability to find out absolutely anything. And I love the environment they work in - quiet and peaceful. So, after graduating from university (a major in Theatre and double minor in Classical Studies and Women's Studies did not land me a job, natch) I signed up at Algonquin for the Librarian course. It was full, so they directed me to the Archives program. I didn't even know what an Archives was, but I haven't looked back since, working in museums, archives and libraries in our fair city. I firmly believe you can have a passion for a job in the government - it's just finding that right job. I also love the government for the conditions I can request (4 days a week, 7-3, with some telework). I recently switched jobs and handed in my blackberry - I was finding that particular job too stressful and demanding of my off time. Maybe when the girls are bigger are less demanding of my time, I will venture out of the civil service, but in general, I'm happy to be where I am. And it's fun to inject a little rock'n'roll in my co-workers lives.
The kids part is more interesting. Jo and I were just talking about this last night. We wanted to be married without kids for few years, just enjoy that kind of life. When we decided to have kids, nothing happened. It just wasn't happening. Jo had a job opportunity in Bermuda, so we decided to go for a year or two and then come back and deal with any infertility issues then. Of course, the day we signed the papers to go - tadaaa! Gracie became firmly planted in my uterus, and a mother I was to become. Grace was such a challenge as a wee one that I considered not having others - I thought I sucked as a mom and just wasn't enjoying the whole experience (I was later diagnosed with severe post-partum). But when the clouds lifted and things became more manageable we started trying again. One miscarriage ensued, then little Edie latched on and was born. Mother x2 I was and I became much better at the job, and I thoroughly enjoy my girls now. We would gor for another one or two, but only if we won the lottery or had a huge cash injection. Kids are expensive (and, so am I at times).
Sometimes I wish I could go out all the time, go to those small clubs, see bands sweat it out and rock. I really do miss it and think about it a lot. But, I would never wish my current life away, I really like it. I'm sure people will keep making music and clubs will keep opening. There will be time to do all that again.

2) What do you most fear about your girls becoming teenagers? I had shit self-esteem when I was a teenager and many problems stemmed from that, and many people took advantage of it. My biggest fear is that my girls won't have a strong sense of self and be easily influenced.

3) If you could be mayor of Ottawa for a day what three things would you change for this city?
Order OC Transpo back to work; cut the fat at City Hall and get rid of redundant positions and take the money saved and put it towards shelters/food banks; move whatever sports complex that is to be built from Kanata to Landsdowne.

4) You make an unscheduled trip home at noon in the middle of the week. The door is unlocked and you hear strange noises as soon as you enter the house. What do you think is going on and what do you do about it? Assume Jo is doing some minor house repair (he works close to home and often pops home at lunch) and go straight to the source. Now, if there was a strange car in the driveway I would likely call Jo to get his ass home and kamikaze the joint with me!

5) Who do you most admire? This question is much harder than I thought. There are people I admire like Angelina Jolie, for philanthropic reasons, and Mike Ness for his sexiness, but I honestly have to say I admire lots of people for different reasons. There is the girl at work who has the most amazing work ethic (I'm sure she doesn't even know what a blog is); there was my great Uncle Gordon who never ever ever ever said anything unkind about anyone; there's my dad who always disengages from gossip when it pops up; there are other members of my family who have overcome certain hardships and come out shining; my husband for his loyalty; there is my girlfriend who truly treats her body like a temple and doesn't eat any junk and excercises not to fit into a pair of size 2 jeans but to just feel good; I admire my 7 year old for her can-do and never give up attitude; I admire my 3 year old for wearing her heart on her sleeve and giving out love unconditionally. The ilst goes on. No one is perfect, but some people have mastered certain traits that I try to emulate.

Thanks so much for the thought provoking questions XUP - it's nice to re-visit my life and think about things I haven't really considered before. You're one cool cat for doing these interviews. Happy New Year.