I stroked Tommy Lee…………….

Well, I stroked his fore-arm, that counts for something, right?

So, Tuesday night my sister came to babysit the girls, forewarned that it might be a late one. I put on my tightest black jeans, by highest heeled black shoes, put on one of my old rock shirts and prepared myself to be dazzled by the original Motley Crue drummer who was making an appearance at Tila Tequila, a club in the Market.

I went with two girlfriends, their significant others, and Jo. When Tommy finally came on stage, I am normally well into my second hour of sleep. The men-folk lasted all of fifteen minutes before they took off for more manly activities at the pub across the street. I guess the drool dripping off our chins made them realize they wouldn’t be getting much attention from us. So, we were left to our own to our own devices. We pushed our way up to the very front and started to dance. He’s a really little guy – I think I could actually look down on him and wrap my arms around him twice. But, he rocks those tats and a bad-boy image like nobody’s business.

Tommy spotted us. He grabbed his Jagermeister and offered it up to the crowd – my friends chugged from his bottle, but I declined. While I do consider myself to be a little bit rock’n’roll, I’m also a little bit paranoid of other people’s germs (c’mon, do you think that bottle was the only thing Tommy ‘s mouth touched that night?) Instead, I stroked his arm. Weird, I know. My bubble popped though when Tommy’s manager started picking girls out of the crowd to be brought back to his “holding tank of hot chicks”.

I actually really liked the music – it was some hard house, techno stuff that I wouldn’t normally listen to, but I am thinking it would great to run to. I don’t know it Tommy did any actual d.j.’ing, we were sort of wondering if he was just pressing buttons and moving shit around to look important. Whatevs. We danced up a storm, had a great time. We picked up our husbands at the pub and headed home. At 2:30 in the morning. Do you know how much it hurt me to set my alarm for 6:00 a.m.?

*As an aside, one thing that shocked me about that night was the amount of plastic surgery happening in our town. Good Lord, there were fake boobies and trout lips everywhere! Who knew?