Stole this from halfbakedbrownieguider; I encourage you to do the same! It really made me warm and fuzzy doing it.

1. Christmas Eve or Christmas morning?

Living at home (up to age 20) Christmas morning for a huge stocking, covered with a beach towel with tons of gifts, and one big present from Mom and Dad, and presents from my brother and sister. Then there was the “overseas package” which contained a myriad of gifts from my Nana, aunts and uncle in the UK. This always included candy that you could only get over there. I remember being the envy of my friends at Christmas because we just had the best Christmas going in town.

As a newly married person, share Christmas between lots of families (husband’s parents are divorced). Realize the stress the holidays can put on divorced families.

And finally as a mom, Christmas Eve, head over to the same friends house every year for some Christmas cheer, bring the kids home way too late, let them open one gift (always new Christmas pyjamas). After kids are in bed, watch a Christmassy movie on the couch. In the morning, watch kids open their gifts, then make a big pancake breakfast.
Ah, the circle of life.

2. Donner or Donder?

Donner

3. Turkey or ham?

Don’t mess with my turkey. Ham? WTF?

4. Gifts opened all at once, or one at a time?

Oooh, one at a time. Savour the moment.

5. Christmas tree: live or artificial?

Live.

6. Cards: boxed cards, family photo cards, or e-cards?

Before kids – handmade cards with personalized message in each one. Now, boxed, with our names scribbled in them and a picture of the girls.

7. Christmas lights: incandescent or LED?

Incandescent. But Boxing Day I’m planning on scooping up some LED’s at 50% off.

8. Re-gift or not?

Not.

9. Gift wrap or gift bags?

I always wrap in brown craft paper and let the kids decorate them. Or, sometime I get carried away do some decorating myself.

10. Best Christmas song?

Gawd. That’s asking you who your favourite child is. I do love Elvis Christmas songs, but if I had to pick two (sorry, can’t pick one) it’s Baby It’s Cold Outside (not the one by Dolly Parton and Rod Stewart) and White Christmas by Bing.

11. Best Christmas movie?

It's a Wonderful Life. But, I always have to watch National Lampoon’s Christmas. I laugh every time. Oh, and does Love Actually count as a Christmas movie?

12. Favourite family tradition?

When I was a kid for while we would go downhill skiing on Christmas Eve and come home and eat tortière. I also have really fond memories of going to church with my mom on Christmas Eve and listening to carols. The only consistent tradition we have right now is the new Christmas pyjamas on Christmas Eve. Gracie just loves this.

This will likely be my last post before Christmas. I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. Peace.

(a beautiful version of "Baby It's Cold Outside")

Two things today:

1) I can’t seem to choke back fruit these days. I am a healthy eater, love to brag that I get all the food groups everyday, but lately, fruit is really unappealing to me. I’ve tried EVERYTHING . Even paying a premium on what I normally consider “fun” fruit (blackberries, raspberries, blueberries). Sigh. Not sure what’s wrong with me.

2) I am expired. I went to work today and my swipe wouldn’t work. I waited for someone to come along so I could bum off of their swipe, but no one came. As a last resort, I appealed to the Commissionares (yes, that is plural. I swear we have a commissionaire per employee here). After much bumbling and arguing, they realized my pass expired yesterday (and pretty much yelled at me for not noticing sooner). They then grudgingly gave me a temporary pass, but had to ask for identification to hold as collateral (in case I raided the nation’s archival holdings? If I did that my punishment would to not get my I.D. back?) Anyhooo, I gave them my driver’s license, which also expired yesterday. Well, you can imagine the field day they had with that. (“Are you always this disorganized” one of them sneered). The hilarious thing is that they took the license as collateral, as useless as it is. I don’t get it!

Why do they make everything expire on your birthday? It should be a fun day, not a I have to run around day.

*warning - this post is filled with generalizations*

i freaking hate gatineau. parts of my job bring me out there and everytime i do go it's horrible. i'll pop into the grocery store and get horrible customer service. i'll let someone in at the busy parking lot and three other cars butt in as well (without a thank you). the produce sucks at the grocery store, you can't return items at the winners there that you bought in ontario, and it seems like an awful lot of pregnant women smoke there. oh, and have mentioned the glass slippers? not once, but TWICE i have been at the grocery store there and seen women wearing these glass slippers that are favoured by those who remove their clothes for a living. seriously. to the grocery store. not to mention there is snow and ice on the ground. a snowy day in gatineau does not call for stripper shoes.

one redeming factor about gatineau? a 24 of india pale ale for $27. now that's alright.

Apologies for yesterday’s pity party. I went to bed early, woke up early, did a little workout, and am now feeling fine. I even fielded a call from Grace, having to assure her that she does not have a peanut allergy. The kids wants something to be “wrong” with her soooo badly. All of her friends seem to have something “wrong” with them – broken arm, allergy of some kind, three heads. Grace wants something that makes her stand out as well. Being beautiful, freakishly athletic and smart is not cutting the mustard with her. She wants more.

This made me think of THE BIG LIE I told when I was around her age. My brother had just been fitted with a retainer – it made his speech change, it affected how he smiled and his mouth was shiny. People asked about it, Mom and Dad were constantly on him to wear it and he was pretty much getting the kind of attention that I wanted. So, I did what any logical 7year old would do. I fashioned a retainer out of two paper clips and claimed orthodontia to anyone who would listen. I wore it to Brownies; my peeps called bullshit, yet I dug my feet in and insisted that it was a retainer. I wore it to school and my teachers called bullshit, yet I dug my feet in and insisted that it was a retainer. They then asked for note from home as proof, as they were concerned that my “retainer” might be a choking hazard or cause tetanus or something.
Well, seeing as my Dad was a dentist, I didn’t think I could convince him that it was a retainer, so I retired my case of orthodontia, claiming to be cured after two days of treatment.
14 years later I wasn’t so enthusiastic when I was fitted with the clunkiest braces you could possibly fashion at the ripe old age of 21. One observer accused Jonas of being a pedophile, that’s how young they made me look.

Ha ha, I really feel better now.

The one where she feels sorry for herself because:

-I just realized that I am going to be making lunches for others for a very long time
-No matter what I make a dinner there are going to be complaints
-One child in particular is sucking the life out of me
-The guilt I feel for "not being nice" is overwhelming
-The thought of waking up pre-dawn is depressing me

I'm not having a good day.

GAAAACKKKK!

Friday – Gracie’s Christmas talent show, all grandparents invited back to our house for dinner

Saturday – Edie ballet in the morning; go to Not Your Grandma’s Craft Sale (I promised myself); Manotick Santa Clause parade in the afternoon (you promithed! You prom-om-om-omithed!); Gracie’s first ever sleep over hosted at our house (rent appropriate movie).

Sunday: Make a fun breakfast for the sleepover girls; host nine lovely ladies for a Christmas cookie exchange party; bake 9 dozen cookie for said exchange; clean house for said exchange; clear children and husband from house for said exchange, ensure they are gone for at least 5 hours so nine ladies can enjoy spiked eggnog and no little voices/feet for a few hours.

Of course, laundry, groceries, cooking meals will all have to take place concurrently. And I’m working out regularly now and don’t want to miss a session. And I’ve promised myself 8 hours sleep each night. And my cleaning lady has been m.i.a. for about 4 weeks now.

Oh, and I have yet to get the girls photo printed for our Xmas cards, I have yet to write out our Xmas cards, and I have not dedicated even one brain cell to thinking about what to buy people for Xmas. I did buy the girls some stuff on Kijiji over the course of the year, so at least that is done.

And next week? I don’t want to write about for fear of putting myself into an early grave.

What’s you’re holiday madness?

*sniff* so romantic. This clip gets me every time. Just look at the way he looks at her when he passes her the cigarette. I am mush. I wonder if i could convince Jo to take up smoking.....
I think I'm going to take up smoking and watching old movies.

I have been in the habit of laying out clothes the night before for the girls to wear the next day. Jonas has the morning shift, so he is responsible for getting them dressed, fed and delivered. The past couple of days I have neglected my duties as fashion coordinator, and boy oh boy, when you leave these guys to their own devices, they come up with some pretty interesting combinations. I think I may officially resign as fashion coordinator because it’s worth the giggles of seeing the get ups they come up with. Oh, and by they, I mean Grace and Jonas. Grace dresses herself, and Jonas is responsible for Edie.

Grace, as you can imagine, envelopes herself in as much velvet as physically possible, with no regard to pattern matching or colour coordination. Yesterday found her in a hot pink, white and electric blue pyschedelic velvet top with black velvet pants and a green and pink camouflage sweater on top of it all. My eyes pretty much bled when I saw her.

Edie, well, Jonas decked her out in blue k-way pants and a shirt with a wrench on it (it’s like a rocker shirt with black 3-quarter length sleeves). The pieces de resistence of this outfit were the delicately embroidered Chinese slippers that really made the outfit pop. Oh, and the pony tail on the side of her head à la Chrissy from Three’s Company also added a certain je ne sais quoi to the whole look.

Anna Wintour should pick the Meanie family for the next cover of Vogue.

Do you remember this post?

Check out this video. The girls continue to prove that you don't need to waste a whole lot of money on them....

Chicago….
What a town. Did you know that they call it the windy city not for the wind that Mother Nature produces, but rather for the wind that politicians produces? This is but one fact that I absorbed over the course of our three nights/four days in Chicago. Here are a few other things I learned:

-When 6 really good friends get together after not seeing each for a long time, they will indulge in alcohol like a couple of sixteen year olds, right out of the gates. One will puke; one will lose his iphone because bailed on the sidewalk and it fell out of his pocket; one will fall and twist her knee (BADLY); one will drink so much he will be incredibly hung over and function at a negative level the following day.

-When I am away from the kids, and only get five hours sleep, I feel like I have slept 14 hours. I think I slept deeply for the first time in almost 7 years.

-People in Chicago (or maybe the States? I hate to generalize) are fucking loco over football. And home teams are incredibly biased.

-Tail gate parties are fun. People bring barbecues(!), linen, candles, kegs, home baked goodies, sleeping bags, musical instruments, small babies, wine, wings, lots of alchohol, illegal substances, ferrets….I felt like I was on that old show “Let’s Make a Deal” and if I had asked if anyone had a wax miniature of the Eiffel Tower, someone would have pulled it out of their purse. Weird stuff.

-I like Sushi. I really like it. I’ve always been reluctant to try it, but wow, when the right friends bring you to the right restaurant, it is amazing.

-Ottawa should look into the bring your own bottle philosophy. Every restaurant we went to we were able to bring our own and I think enjoyed our meal even more than we would have had we been stressed about the cost of bottles.

-I will never eat Doritos again (see first bullet re. puking).

-Anthropologie is the best store ever,

-Target is also the best store ever.

-Jo and I are too tall for AmericanEagle airplanes. Seriously, these things are made for the 5’5 and under crowd.

The last thing I learned is that I DO love my children. After our little adventure, my heart had grown fonder and I really ached to see the little munchkins again.

My good friend Christopher passed this article on to me. As a lover of the arts, an employee of the arts, someone who is trying to instill an appreciation of the arts in my children, and dammmit, someone who likes to go to the Bluesfest, swig some beer and enjoy some good music, this article near broke my heart. What is going on people? Can you imagine a world without the arts? EVERYTHING is influenced by the arts, from the picture on your coffee cup to the t.v. show you watch at night, the books you read your children to the music you get lost in. What are we striving for here? A town replete with big box stores and depleted of any beauty and originality? Will we ALL be wearing sweater vests in the near future, unable to come up with our sense of style?

Ottawa festivals to lose all city funding under planned cuts
Last Updated: Monday, November 10, 2008 | 4:43 PM ET Comments48Recommend44
CBC News
Events such as the Ottawa Tulip Festival and Ottawa Bluesfest, prizes such as the Ottawa Book Awards and groups such as choirs and heritage societies would lose every penny of their annual funding under cuts proposed to balance the City of Ottawa 's 2009 budget.
City staff recommended $4.1 million in cuts to the city's arts and culture programs when they released the 2009 draft budget last week.
Details of the cuts are outlined in documents obtained by many of the 286 affected groups and individuals, many of whom were to meet Monday to discuss what to do about the proposals.
Those that would lose 100 per cent of their funding include:
• The Canadian Tulip Festival, Ottawa Bluesfest and the Ottawa International Chamber Music Festival, which get operating funds annually.
• Several choirs and some dance, theatre and other groups that get operating funds from the city annually.
• Community projects such as Centretown movies, Propeller Dance, House of PainT and Ladyfest.
• The Ottawa Book Awards and the Karsh Award program for outstanding artists.
• Several heritage projects and historical societies.
• Diversity programs such as the Latin American Festival and the Ottawa Chinese Arts Troupe.
• "Capacity building" programs that help groups such as the Great Canadian Theatre Company expand and mature.
Some larger, more established organizations such as Opera Lyra and the Independent Filmmakers Co-operative of Ottawa (IFCO) would lose 42 per cent of their funding.
Groups such as the Ottawa Arts Court Foundation and the Ottawa Art Gallery and museums such as the Bytown Museum , which have multi-year agreements to provide services to the city, would see cuts of 10 to 24 per cent, while endowment funds would remain untouched.

As an aside, please visit http://illustrationfriday.com/blog/2008/11/12/canadian-portrait-gallery/ for a great chuckle at Harper’s expense.

Did I tell you about Jo’s birthday present? The present that I have been keeping a secret for about 302 days? The secret that I was finally able unveil on Saturday night, with friends and family to bear witness? It’s not much, just a little something I pulled together. Really, it only involved conspiring with his boss and booking time off work. Oh, and booking babysitters for the girls for 3 nights and 4 days. And there was also saving my pennies and denying myself some purty things so I could purchase it. Of course, I also had to make sure our passports were up to date. And get tickets to the Game. Yeah, Jo was pretty surprised when I plopped down two plane tickets to Chicago and two tickets to this Sunday’s Chicago Bears game. And pretty happy too.

So, anyone been to The Mighty Opes hometown? Oh, and I guess it’s Obama’s hometown too….

The Irony of Facebook

When I was about thirteen or fourteen years old, there was a boy, around three years older than me, who was so cruel and so mean to me, that now, as a parent, I wonder how he was raised to be capable of such cold hearted behaviour. His behaviour ran a little beyond typical high school bullying. I had forgotten about him though, and the assumption was that I bore no ill effects from his antics.

And then Facebook happened. Facebook has this application on it, that, judging from who you already have on your friend list, it generates names of other people on Facebook who you may know and wish to be friends with. Well, this asshole keeps popping up, and Facebook keeps asking me if I want to get in touch with him. The first time I saw his face and name, a flood of memories came back, and for a moment, I was transported back in time and once again felt all the insecure teen girl that I was, believing his cruel taunts. Now that I’ve seen him pop up a few more times, it is taking everything in me not to lash out at him and let him just how much he sucks/sucked. Part me fears that he would read it, sneer, and laugh out loud at the pain he caused. Another part of me thinks get over it, it’s been over twenty years, time to let it go. And, the last part of me thinks that it is time to quit Facebook altogether, feel blessed with the great friends I have and hold on to them tightly, rather than trying to rack up my friend numbers.

God I hate that jerk.

I love (most) flashbacks.

I was on the bus this morning and had an amazing memory. It involved Jane Siberry and Rideau Valley Middle School (I went there during those oh so painful years of grade six to grade 8). Anyhoooo, we used to have these school dances over the lunch hour, and the “d.j.” (I believe it was our geography teacher) would spin the latest hits. You know what I’m talking about, a little Corey Hart, a little Huey Lewis, and a whole lot of Chicago. Well, one of these dances occurred when Jane Siberry’s “Mimi on the Beach” was a hit. That’s what I’m going to leave you with. Picturing a bunch of pre-pubescent kids wearing stirrup pants and colours you’d only find in government issued highlighters, trying to figure out how to dance to Mimi on the Beach.

I’m sure there were other awkward songs to dance to, I’m going to make a list.



Jane Siberry - Mimi On The Beach lyrics | LyricsMode.com

Appeal to the General Public

I can see the writing on the wall. Grace just got over her last batch of nightmares, and with all the scary ghouley things out there this time of year, I suspect her mind will trap these images and haunt her for the next two months. This means my change at 8hrs sleep in a row is one again shot.

I have thought about suggesting not going trick or treating this year, but that would just be cruel. Besides, scary images are everywhere this time of year, and there is no escaping them unless I lock her up and throw away the key (which would mean me spending 24-7 with her which just wouldn't be good for anybody!)

Grace is aware of the anxiety that Hallowe'en is going to cause her, and we have discussed the "holiday" ad nauseum, and I really really do hope that she will do her best not let her imagination get the best of her. Meanwhile, she has appealed to me to ask everyone (and I'm flattered that she feels her mother is bossy enough that she can communicate to the world) if everyone could do this one this Hallowe'en:

Could everyone just please dress up as a bunny rabbit this year?

We'd be much obliged.

Anyone know a good therapist?

Me, talking to Edie last night, sums up my weekend in a nutshell. Please remember that Edie is my “sweet” one”……

Me: What was the best part of you weekend Edie?
Edie: Me!

Me: What was the worst part of your weekend Edie?
Edie: You!

Monday couldn’t have come fast enough this weekend.

I love footwear. Boots, heels, flats, flip-flops; even slippers have been known to cause me to quiver. I have always been this way – I can remember saving hard earned babysitting money to buy a par of mesh and rubber shoes from Le Château when I was in grade 6. Back then girls were wearing topsiders and PeterPan getaway boots, but not I, I had already developed a taste for the exotic in footwear.

So, when Grace told me her shoes were too small, after I swear, just buying her a new pair of shoes a few weeks back, I smiled to myself and thought, finally, Grace is little like her mother after all. I obliged, brought her to the mall, and we started looking for shoes. Now, last time I checked, Grace was a 12. And that’s what we started with. Lemme tell you, I felt like the Prince trying to squeeze the evil step-sister’s sausages in the glass slipper. Gracie’s foot would not go in. Huh. Maybe she did grow after all. Let’s try 12 ½, umm, nope, no can do. These shoes must be European; they tend to be cut on the smaller side. We’ll just jump up to 13 and see how we do…..well, don’t cry sweetie, Mommy’s not hurting you on purpose, I guess we’ll just have to try the 13 ½, oh, come on, give me a fucking break, is there paper wadded up in the toe area? Miss? Miss? Would you come over here please? Would you please measure my daughter’s feet? She’s just not fitting into any of these shoes, and last time I checked, she was a 12. Are these things labeled properly? Oh, what’s that? I see. She’s a 1 bordering on a size 2. Why yes, I am a shitty mother, completely unaware that children can grow over night in leaps and bounds and potentially bankrupt a family due to her increasing shoe upgrades. And yes, I have been sending her to school everyday in shoes that are two sizes too small for her potentially causing some weird stunting phenomenon in her foot. Thank you, thank you very much for all of your help.



Check out PeeWee's Big Shoe dance. Awesome stuff.

Do to having nothing to say, but still having a desire to talk about myself, here are 10 Random things…..

1) Edie has taken to calling herself Edie Rainbow, and has pretty much done away with our family name.

2) Another six year old taught Grace how to tie her shoes over the weekend. While I’m over the moon with this accomplishment, I also feel a little insecure that another six year taught her something her parents should have.

3) Edie looked and sounded like a little disgruntled bureaucrat yesterday when I picked her up at daycare, muttering something about having a really bad day. The funny thing is she goes to daycare in a building that hosts government of Canada employees, and she blended in beautifully.


4) I’m a little freaked out because I just realized, at 35 years old, that I don’t have consistent handwriting. You know how most people can recognize other people’s handwriting? My changes on a daily, sometimes hourly basis. What does this mean about me? The only consistent letter is a “g”. Strange, eh?

5) I have a huge surprise planned for Jonas’ birthday and I feel like it’s going to pop right out of my mouth any second. This is agony!


6) I just counted 14 pairs of shoes in my cubicle. And two of them are silver. Who needs two pairs of silver shoes? Someone who has a child who refers to herself as Edie Rainbow, that’s who.

7) I burnt my tongue trying to get my coffee in my body this morning in an attempt to ward off a caffeine withdrawal headache.


8) We are being forced to change our signature blocks at work to reflect the“common look and feel” of the federal government. My signature block more than a ¼ of a page long. I shit you not.

9) I am contemplating taking Friday off, not sure what is holding me back. I would like to so some fall gardening and trim stuff back. Is there anything I can plant this time of year for next year?


10) When I got to work this morning and looked in the mirror I was embarrassed to see some white dried up toothpaste on my chin. Sigh. I wonder if this caused the bus people to talk.

Finally, because I suck at entertaining today, this is bound to make up for it:

Addiction runs in the family. I’m always observing the girls, to see if there is any sign of early addictions or addictive behaviour. A little paranoid at the ages of 3 ½ and 6 ½, but what the hell, you can never be too careful.

Every Fall I face my problem with cigarettes. I find myself craving a cigarette. Something about the cool crisp air makes me crave a long, deep haul off of a ciggie. Maybe I’ll give in, maybe I won’t, that’s my issue to work out.

Fall has also forced me to face Grace’s addiction. Thank goodness it’s seasonal, and I can live in denial for 6 months of the year. But, this Fall I am facing the fact that I am an enabler of Grace’s addiction. It is me who supports her habit, has me scraping the bottom of my purse for change, usually a hit is a about $3.99 or so.

Grace has a serious addiction to (c’mon Meanie, the first step is to accept the problem) she’s addicted to (oh God this is so hard) she is addicted to…..VELVET! There, I’ve said it! My little girl likes to be swathed in velvet, head to toe, any colour, any pattern. It’s gotten so bad that my dealer has become Value Village, the bastard, who restocks his shelves every day with new velvet. Prettier velvet, softer velvet, velvet-ier velvet. And I buy it for her dammit, I buy it again and again.

And now it’s affecting the rest of the family. I caught Edie rubbing Grace’s velvet encased leg the other day with a glazed look in her eye and she is now refusing jeans because they are not soft enough. And Jo? Well, I know he is one who would not complain if the velvet leisure suit made a come back.

And so, do I pull my family out of this disease or just ride it out until next May, when we can breathe a sigh of relief that the Velvet season is over?

I’m sorry, I’m dumb.

To the poor woman at the park the other day, I must apologize for making you so insecure about your 3 ½ year old. She is lovely and she is right on track and you shouldn’t be comparing her to my brilliant Edie.

The background….

I was at the park the other day with Grace and Edie and they were talking away, climbing the play structure, and just being lovely. Another mom happened upon us who had her daughter with her, and, as park parents do, we got to talking. I asked her how old her little girl was and she said 3 ½. She then asked me how old mine are and I told her 6/12 and……2 ½. . She expressed shock at Edie’s development. Edie was bigger than her daughter, more articulate, and more agile on the play structure. She simply could not believe that Edie was a full year younger than her daughter, and kept telling me so I said something lame like all kids develop differently bleah bleah bleah, (but off course was BEAMING inside that someone acknowledged Edie’s exceptional-ness). The poor woman actually sort of looked she might book an appointment with her daughter’s pediatrician to see why the hell she was so delayed….in everything.

It wasn’t until bed time that night when I was rethinking the encounter with this woman that I realized I had told her a lie. Edie is not 2 ½, she is 3 ½. I lost a whole year somewhere. How pathetic is that?

So I’m sorry nice lady, maybe Edie and your daughter could play one day. I promise to encourage age-appropriate activities.